CSI: Crime Scene Investigation quotes

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Sara: I ran a Lexis search looking for disgruntled employees, irate customers anyone with a grievance against thrift-right.
Grissom': You get any hits?
Sara: Norman Stirling -- former manager.
Grissom: How disgruntled?
Sara: Let go last year. Caused a commotion at HQ. Filed lawsuits against the company. He's been out of work ever since.
Grissom: Sittin' around, makin' bombs.

Sara: I take it that's not blood.
Grissom: No but there's protein in it.
Sara: Oh, the Mile High Club. That means that 2 passengers may have had no idea what was going on inside that cabin.
Grissom: You know high altitude enhances the whole sexual experience, increases the euphoria.
Sara: Well, it's good...I don't know if it's that good.[Grissom shoots her a look] Cite your source.
Grissom: Hand me a swab please.
Sara:[Smirks]] You're avoiding the question, "enhances sexual experience, increases euphoria" cite your source.
Grissom: A magazine.
Sara: What magazine?
Grissom: "Applied Psycho-dynamics in Forensic Science"
Sara: Never heard of it.
Grissom: I'll get you a subscription. Now cite your source.
Sara: Oh, now you want to go down that route?
Grissom: Yeah.
Sara: Nah, never mind.
Grissom: You started it. [Raises his eyebrows as if to say "Well?"]
Sara: Delta airlines, flight 1109, Boston- Miami, March 93, Ken Fuller, hazel eyes, organic chem lab TABMOC, overrated in...every aspect...Could we get back to work please?
Grissom: Yeah, I think due to your first hand knowledge and experience in airplane bathrooms, you should do the swab.
Sara: Fine.

Sara: I wish I were like you, I wish I didn't feel anything.

Sara: Interesting voicemail you left me
Warrick: What's that?
Sara: Meet me behind CSI and bring a night gown? I'll wear it for you but uh, I prefer pajamas.

Sara: No, I can't drink any more coffee. My body clock is so screwed up. I just want a steak and a shot.
Nick: Tut's Tomb, steak and eggs $1.99.
Sara: Food?
Nick: Mmhmm.
Sara: Good idea. You're on.
Greg: (runs in the room) It's what I live for. You guys are not gonna believe this. You ready?
Sara: So much for the steak, I'll take the coffee.

Sara: So, Ecklie's conclusion of gasoline wasn't based on any physical evidence. It was based on Damon's credit card receipts.
Grissom: I can't fault him for that. The burn pattern is consistent with a gasoline accelerant.
Sara: But, hydrocarbons are found in all kinds of things: Oils ... kerosene, polyethylene-based compounds like laxatives-- even the foam used in push-up bras.
Warrick: Yeah. Under the right conditions, any hydrocarbon can be an accelerant. (this perks Grissom up now that he has something to go on)
Grissom: (to Sara) Thank you. Warrick, you're driving. (Sara smiles at Grissom)
Warrick: You ever worry about professional suicide?
Grissom: Not while I'm commiting it, no.

Sara: The only person who could have done it, then is the person that was in the car with her, the mother.
Catherine: Her eyes were pointing in the wrong direction.
Sara: (shakes her head) I'm sorry. What?
Catherine: Carla Dantini was looking left when she told me about the accident. When a person is remembering, they look right and when they're creating, they look left.
Sara: And by creating, you mean fabricating. Neurolinguistics programming, human behavioral science.
Catherine: Call Brass and tell him to meet us at the mother's house.

Sara: This Chilean sea bass is excellent.
Catherine: So is this.
Sara: Okay, you got your missing widow. Her bloody tooth found in her own
bedroom which is currently occupied by two moes.

Sara: Why would there be glass in the middle of the hot spot?
Grissom: Good question.
Warrick: Who cares? The guy torched his wife and kid.
Grissom: Really? Where's the trailing? An arsonist would spread the gasoline around to maximize the burn area.
Sara: He still did the job.
Grissom: Listen, you guys. You're like Dodger fans. The ball game's only in the seventh inning and you're already out of your seats.

Sara: You told me a few weeks ago that nothing is personal. No victim should be special. Everyone follows your lead.
Grissom: Everyone didn't find that baby. I did. And that little boy is dead because someone lost their temper or screwed up, or god knows what. So, excuse me, but this victim is special.

Sara: You're standing in my crime scene.
Nick: No, you're in mine.
Sara: You got audio, I wanted that.
Nick: I out rank you.
Sara: Technicality, who'd Grissom handpick to work here?
Nick: Keep telling yourself that.

Sara: You're the one who said one piece of evidence is better than ten eyewitnesses.
Grissom: What do you tape everything I say?

Sara: You're the one who's always saying it's better to have one piece of forensic evidence than ten eyewitnesses.
Grissom: What, do you tape everything I say?

Scott Shelton: [after Sara discovers blood that has been wiped clean off the wall] I have no idea how it got there.
Sara: Oh... How it got there was when you shot your wife in the head, wrapped her in a blanket and left her on the side of a mountain. Dead!
[points her finger in his face]
Scott Shelton: Get that finger out of my face bitch!
[they fight]
Brass: Stop! That's enough! [to Grissom] Get her under control!
Grissom: Get him out of here, Jim!
Scott Shelton: Told you she was a handful.
Sara: Oh, you don't know a handful!
Grissom: Hey, Sara, what's the matter with you?
Sara: I am a woman, and I have a gun and look how he treated me! I can only imagine how he treated his wife!

Sgt. O'Riley: [Describing Brass and Grissom] Here comes the "nerd squad".