CSI: Crime Scene Investigation quotes
0 total quotesNick: Hey, Greg.
Greg: Shh. I might be looking at the mother of my children here.
Nick: Somebody's been putting in way too much overtime.
Greg: No, this is serious. I had a date last night. And this girl has the most impossible green eyes. Just, BAM. Shoulder-length blonde hair, intelligent. And she smells so good.
Nick: Cute toes?
Greg: Oh, ideal. And none longer than the big toe. Both feet. But you know I need to know what is on the inside.
Nick: What's in her heart?
Greg: No, her DNA. This girl has got some fine epithelials.
Nick: Dude, you're sick. Man, you have officially lost it.
Greg: There's a guy in Louisville, he charges 300 clams to test your spouse's underwear for foreign DNA. Now that guy is sick. I'm just a romantic.
Nick: Whatever happened to getting to know someone over coffee? Letting the relationship evolve. Romantic is sending flowers, not bogarting her skin cells.
Greg: Oh that's boring.
Greg: Shh. I might be looking at the mother of my children here.
Nick: Somebody's been putting in way too much overtime.
Greg: No, this is serious. I had a date last night. And this girl has the most impossible green eyes. Just, BAM. Shoulder-length blonde hair, intelligent. And she smells so good.
Nick: Cute toes?
Greg: Oh, ideal. And none longer than the big toe. Both feet. But you know I need to know what is on the inside.
Nick: What's in her heart?
Greg: No, her DNA. This girl has got some fine epithelials.
Nick: Dude, you're sick. Man, you have officially lost it.
Greg: There's a guy in Louisville, he charges 300 clams to test your spouse's underwear for foreign DNA. Now that guy is sick. I'm just a romantic.
Nick: Whatever happened to getting to know someone over coffee? Letting the relationship evolve. Romantic is sending flowers, not bogarting her skin cells.
Greg: Oh that's boring.
Nick: Hey.
Warrick: Hey.
Catherine: Nicky, how's it going?
Warrick: What's up?
Nick: Good, good. (he looks at the painting) Are you putting one of Lindsey's drawings into evidence? (Cath and Warrick laugh)
Catherine: If only her artwork brought in this kind of dough I wouldn't need to worry about her college tuition.
Nick: Yeah, I heard your missing person was a "painting".
Warrick: (scoffs) At least we solved our case.
Nick: Oh! (Nick puts a hand to his chest as if wounded)
Catherine: Keep walking. (Nick laughs and leaves the room)
Warrick: Hey.
Catherine: Nicky, how's it going?
Warrick: What's up?
Nick: Good, good. (he looks at the painting) Are you putting one of Lindsey's drawings into evidence? (Cath and Warrick laugh)
Catherine: If only her artwork brought in this kind of dough I wouldn't need to worry about her college tuition.
Nick: Yeah, I heard your missing person was a "painting".
Warrick: (scoffs) At least we solved our case.
Nick: Oh! (Nick puts a hand to his chest as if wounded)
Catherine: Keep walking. (Nick laughs and leaves the room)
Nick: I can't believe I used to live in a place like this.
Sara: And here I had all this respect for you.
Sara: And here I had all this respect for you.
Nick: I need your shirt.
Kristy: Why is it every time we meet you're wanting me to take my clothes off?
Nick: Because every time we meet you put yourself in a position where you have to take them off.
Kristy: Why is it every time we meet you're wanting me to take my clothes off?
Nick: Because every time we meet you put yourself in a position where you have to take them off.
Nick: Man, do you turn it on like this at your seminars?
Grissom: People actually pay to go to my seminars, Nick. We've I.D.'d the dog.
Nick: Well, if he's got bits of jogger hanging out of his mouth, cuff him.
Grissom: People actually pay to go to my seminars, Nick. We've I.D.'d the dog.
Nick: Well, if he's got bits of jogger hanging out of his mouth, cuff him.
Nick: Pulled a couple of hairs off of our male stabbing vic.
Greg: Okay. Baby. Uh-huh.
Nick: What?
Greg: Nine lives.
Nick: Cat hair?
Greg: Meow.
Greg: Okay. Baby. Uh-huh.
Nick: What?
Greg: Nine lives.
Nick: Cat hair?
Greg: Meow.
Nick: Yeah, but I got her a chem set.
Sara: You keep that; might learn something.
Nick: Stop flirting with me.
Sara: You keep that; might learn something.
Nick: Stop flirting with me.
Nick: You look a little tired. Want me to give you a bottle, make you go night night?
Warrick: Want me to clack that jaw and make you go night night?
Warrick: Want me to clack that jaw and make you go night night?
Royce Harmon: [Recorded] My name is Royce Harmon. I reside at 7642 Carpenter Street, Las Vegas, Nevada. I am 41 years of age ... and I'm going to kill myself.
Sara: (looking at Brenda's coloring) That's very pretty. (Brenda scratches out the picture) Or not. (Brenda puts the crayon down) Want to go for another ride? (without saying anything, Brenda pushes the paper and all the crayons off the table and onto the floor. She puts her hands flat against her ears) I'll take that as a "yes."
Sara: (Sara's mad after getting called into work on her day off) What am I? Working food and beverage at one of the hotels? I haven't had a day off in three weeks. I mean if they're gonna call me in at least throw me a bone. Gimme the 419 on the elevator.
Nick: Someone's bitter.
Sara: I'm tired!
Nick: You? Tired? I thought you never sleep. (Sara fakes a yawn, Nick chuckles) Nice, nice. (they walk into DNA and Greg's blasting music)
Nick: What up, G?
Sara: You're awake. I hate you.
Greg: Couple glasses of Merlot, a rack of lamb on my day off. I slept like a baby yesterday. You look horrible.
Sara: Thanks, Greg. (Greg looks at Nick)
Nick: Don't look at me. I got 'sunshine' all night. (Nick glances over at Sara who glares back at him, definitely catching exactly who he's calling "sunshine") Check for DNA in the sexual assault kit and the fingernail, please.
Sara: Everything has to be in CODIS ASAP.
Greg: Oh, is that all? I want to know who's going to authorize my overtime?
Sara: Suck it up, Greg. You're well-rested. (walks away)
Greg: (to Nick) You want a valium for her?
Sara: I heard that!
Nick: Someone's bitter.
Sara: I'm tired!
Nick: You? Tired? I thought you never sleep. (Sara fakes a yawn, Nick chuckles) Nice, nice. (they walk into DNA and Greg's blasting music)
Nick: What up, G?
Sara: You're awake. I hate you.
Greg: Couple glasses of Merlot, a rack of lamb on my day off. I slept like a baby yesterday. You look horrible.
Sara: Thanks, Greg. (Greg looks at Nick)
Nick: Don't look at me. I got 'sunshine' all night. (Nick glances over at Sara who glares back at him, definitely catching exactly who he's calling "sunshine") Check for DNA in the sexual assault kit and the fingernail, please.
Sara: Everything has to be in CODIS ASAP.
Greg: Oh, is that all? I want to know who's going to authorize my overtime?
Sara: Suck it up, Greg. You're well-rested. (walks away)
Greg: (to Nick) You want a valium for her?
Sara: I heard that!
Sara: [storms in, angrily] You weren't in your office.
Grissom: And good morning to you Miss Sidle.
Sara: Warrick has a problem, ignoring it isn't going to make it go away. You asked for a report and then you completely ignored my recommendation!
Grissom: I read your report.
Sara: Then at least take him off my case.
Grissom: No. I trust him. Do you trust me?
Grissom: And good morning to you Miss Sidle.
Sara: Warrick has a problem, ignoring it isn't going to make it go away. You asked for a report and then you completely ignored my recommendation!
Grissom: I read your report.
Sara: Then at least take him off my case.
Grissom: No. I trust him. Do you trust me?
Sara: [To Grissom] What type of system rewards the killer, when the victim is too tough to die?