Dr.Robbins: The leg was severed post-mortem.
Catherine: Well, that's good news.
Dr.Robbins: How do you figure?
Catherine: Would you want to be alive while your leg's being cut off?

Ecklie: I just got off the phone with the Sheriff. He wants results, Gil.
Grissom': He should go to a sports book. I hear the Stardust is good.
Ecklie: No. What he should do is go to his first team... my team.
Grissom': Teams, Conrad? I didn't know this was a competition.
Ecklie: Well, it is, and my crew usually wins.
Grissom': Really? Didn't graveyard beat day shift in softball last summer?
Ecklie: You know, you can joke all you want. It's your ass on the line.
Grissom': I think it was 14-3.
Ecklie: Like I said, it's all about results. And, if you don't get them, I will.

Ecklie: I need a DNA sample from you, Nick.
Nick: I assume you're trying to prove Kristy Hopkins and I were sexually active last night.
Ecklie: We found a condom, used.
Nick: And my DNA will match, no warrant necessary. And I have something else for you. (Nick hands Ecklie a piece of paper with writing on it) I got this off a valet surveillance tape.
Ecklie: A license plate number?
Nick: Vehicle belongs to Jack Willman. Had a fight with Kristy Hopkins outside the Orpheus last night around midnight.
Ecklie: Well, I'll look into it but come on-- your fingerprints, your DNA, that's what's going into evidence.
Nick: You just love that, don't you?
Ecklie: You think I want to believe a CSI could commit murder? Hell I don't even want to believe that a CSI could sleep with a hooker.
Catherine: You know what? Nick's private life...
Ecklie: Is no longer private. (beat) Catherine, I'm sorry if you guys don't like where the evidence is pointing. But show me otherwise-- tell me I'm wrong. In the meantime, my hands are tied. I have protocol to follow. (leaves)
Nick: (to Cath) I hate that guy.

Ecklie: What the hell are you doing?
Grissom: Something you probably should have done.
Ecklie: (scoffs) You're checking for faulty wiring? Waste of time, Gil. Fire started on the floor in the closet not in the wires in the wall.

Eddie: ...By taking our daughter to dinner.
Catherine: Get over here.
Eddie: Come on, what? What?
Catherine: Just so pathetic.
Eddie: What?
Catherine: Just so pathetic.
Eddie: Watch it, Cath.
Catherine: Sucking up to our daughter 'cause I caught you robbing me.
Eddie: The only thing I ever robbed you of was good sex.
Catherine: No sex is worth you and you are not taking my daughter to a club with one of your music whores.
Eddie: Oh they are whores? When I met you, you were taking your clothes off in a strip club.
Catherine: It was a job Ed and it supported you just like every job I had, including this one.
Eddie: And who paid you to close up your nose?

Eddie: When are we going to talk about what happened?
'Catherine: What's to talk about? You cheated on me. I caught you.

Evans: [Pointing to an exotic dancer on stage] You dressed like that?
Catherine: If you want to call it dressed.

Father Powell: He needs spiritual guidance.
[Grissom looks at the suspect, then looks at the dead body]
Grissom: Yeah, I imagine he does.
Father Powell: Ah. Then you'd have no problem with my talking to him.
Grissom: It's the 11th hour. I wouldn't expect anything less.
Father Powell: Eleventh hour?
Grissom: When the reality of their actions sets in, they usually turn to religion.
Father Powell: Can you think of a better time?

Father Powell: You don't believe?
Grissom: In religion. I believe in God, in science, in Sunday supper. I don't believe in rules that tell me how I should live.
Father Powell: Even if they're handed down by God?
Grissom: How many crusades were fought in the name of God? How many people died because of someone's religion?
Father Powell: Fanaticism, not religion.
Grissom: Semantics. They're still dead.

Film Processor: I've processed hundreds of bogus snuff films. But this, this one just felt different.
Catherine: Yeah, it should. arterial spray was real.
Grissom: It's not fake blood. It's human. That was a murder... on 16 millimeter.

Frank: So, you're the Grissom they wrote about in the newspaper? I thought you'd be older.
Grissom: Why did you contact me, Mr. Damon?
Frank: Arson specialist gave me your name. Well, six of them, actually. They all turned my case down. Will you help me?
Grissom: Fires are very complicated.
Frank: It wasn't too complicated for the guy who put me in here. (Grissom stares at him for a moment) You think if you stare at me long enough, you can tell if I'm innocent?
Grissom: I don't mean to stare ... but, yes, I can learn some things. For instance, the back of your hands are smooth. You read a lot. You have indentation marks on your nose from reading glasses. Your speech tells me that you're well-educated. Your occupation's not listed in the file, but I think that you had a white-collar job.
Frank: (nods) Paper-pusher for the phone company.

Frank: You're not going to help me?
Grissom: I'll take your case. I don't know whether I'll help you or not.
Frank: Now, if there was gasoline in our closet someone else put it there. Find them. Grissom: I don't chase criminals, Mr. Damon. I just evaluate evidence.

Fromansky: Someday, you're going to need me or my buddies at a scene... and wouldn't you know it, we all hit traffic on the way.
Grissom: Is that how you do your job, officer?
Fromansky: Have a safe night.

Gil Grissom: There are three things in life people like to stare at - a rippling stream, a fire in a fireplace, and a zamboni going round and round.
Sara: Charlie Brown. I love a zamboni.
Gil Grissom: We all do.

Greg (after being caught rocking out in the lab): I could have been a rock star.
Grissom: There's still time, Greg.