Morgan: Gentlemen, I think I speak for all of us when I say that the only reason I took this job at the Buy More was to do as little work as humanly possible.
[Jeff and Lester nod]
Morgan: The big man has made that dream a reality.
Lester: The man's an inspiration to slackers everywhere.
Jeff: Until his old lady dumped him.
Morgan: We're screwed! I mean screwed now that he has nothing to live for except work.
Jeff: Yeah, but how do we get Mrs. Big Mike to take him back?
Lester: How do you mend a broken heart?
Emmett: You mean, how do we get him laid? I'm sorry to interrupt this little meeting of the minds but you're not the only ones who find this new regime insufferable. It's obvious our rotund leader is channeling his sexual energies into the Buy More. In my opinion your only hope......
Morgan: Is to channel him back into sex. Brilliant, Emmett. But where do we find Big Mike a ridiculous, out of his league hottie?
Lester: Someone to suck his will to work out of him.
Jeff: Not at the Bennigan's Bar.
Lester: Sometimes the fruit hangs a little too low.
Emmett: Where do you meet people where you don't have to pay for sex?

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