Buffy the Vampire Slayer quotes

733 total quotes


Willow: Uhm, Buffy? I just.. I-I want you to know that I'm, I'm really sorry for letting you down. You know, here, before with the magic going all "aaah" and me going all "eeeh" and everything getting all "rrrr".

Willow: We have a lot of fun, but I want smoochies!
Buffy: Have you dropped any hints?
Willow: I've dropped anvils.
Buffy: Well, he'll come around. What guy could resist your wily Willow charms?
Willow: At last count? All of them, maybe more.
Buffy: Well, none of them know a thing! They all get an "F" in Willow.
Willow: But I want Oz to get an "A," and, oh, one of those gold stars!

Willow: Well, I took Psych 101. I mean, I took it from an evil government scientist who was skewered by her Frankenstein-like creation before the final, but I know what a Freudian slip is.

Willow: Well, you know what they say, the bigger they are-
Anya: The faster they stomp you into nothing.

Willow: Well... when I'm with a boy I like, it's hard for me to say anything cool, or, or witty. Or at all. I-I can usually make a few vowel sounds, and then I have to go away.
Buffy: It's not that bad.
Willow: No, i-it is. I think boys are more interested in a girl who can talk.
Buffy: You really haven't been dating lately.

Willow: You have to help me figure this out, you know.
Xander: But I never help. I get in trouble and Buffy saves me.
Willow: That's not true, sometimes we all help to save you... And-and sometimes you're not in trouble.
...
Xander: Hey, wait 'til you have an evil twin, see how you handle it.
Willow: I handled it fine.

Willow: You know, when I was little I used to spend hours imagining what my wedding to Xander would be like. And now I look at them and just think... he-he-he!

Willow: You're the Slayer, and we're, like, the Slayerettes!

Xander: Besides, look on the bright side. If we don't come up with a solution, we might face an apocalypse.
Spike: [extremely happy] Really? You're not just saying that?

Xander: "Are you a people person, or do you prefer keeping your own company?" Well, what if I'm a people person who keeps his own company by default?
Buffy: So, mark "none of the above".
Xander: Well, there are no boxes for "none of the above". That would introduce too many variables into their mushroom head, number-crunching little world.

Xander: (digging in the grave yard as the girls watch) Y'know, this might go a lot faster if you femmes actually picked up a shovel, too.
Giles: (stopping, almost breathless) Hear, hear.
Buffy: Sorry, but I'm an old fashioned gal. I was raised to believe that men dig up the corpses and the women have the babies.

Xander: [as Xander walks in on Spike and invisible Buffy] Spike? What are you doing?
Spike: What am I-... What does it look like I'm doing, you nit? I'm exercising, aren't I? [starts doing "push-ups"]
Xander: Exercising? Naked? In bed?
Spike: A man shouldn't use immortality as an excuse to let himself go. You gotta be fit for killin'...
Xander: Ya-huh.

Xander: [practicing to ask Buffy to the Spring Fling dance] Y'know, Buffy, Spring Fling just isn't any dance. It's a time for students to choose, um... a mate and then we can... observe their... mating rituals and tag them before they migrate- just kill me!

Xander: [re: Riley's commando hand movements] What's with the hand move? D'you see that? Does that, like, mean somethin'?
Willow: It's code. I think it breaks down to "choo-choo." [mimics pulling a train whistle]
Anya: It probably means to follow him. That, or wait here for him.
Xander: Hey Riley! What's the [Mimics gesture] all about?
Riley: It means yell real loud, so the vampires who don't know we're coming will have a sporting chance.

Xander: [to Anya] I've gotta say something, 'cause I don't think I've made it clear. I'm in love with you. Powerfully, painfully in love. The things you do, the way you think, the way you move. I get excited every time I'm about to see you. You make me feel like I've never felt before in my life... like a man. I just thought you might like to know.