Spike: [laughs sarcastically] Oh, I get it. That's very crafty. [nods] Glory's worked the kind of mojo where anyone who sees her little presto-change-o instantly forgets. And yours truly, being somewhat other than human ... stands immune.
Willow: [frowning.] So ... Ben and Glory ... are-are the same person?
Xander: [slowly, like a revelation] Glory can turn into Ben, and Ben turns back into Glory.
Anya: And anyone who sees it instantly forgets.
Spike: [sigh of relief] Kewpie doll for the lady.
Giles: Excellent. Now. Do we suspect there may be some kind of connection between Ben and Glory?

Spike: [On getting Buffy to go where Adam wants her to] Right. The Initiative. But getting her there, that's what the bleeding discs are for, innit? I mean, the little witch gives her the info, and pop! All sends her back down the rabbit hole.
Adam: The witch?
Spike: Ah, Willow. So high, perky, good with maths. Natural choice.
Adam: Her friend.
Spike: Right.
Adam: One of the friends from which you so efficiently separated her.
Spike: Damn right I did! You should have seen 'em, they won't be talking to each other for a long, long- [pointed stare from Adam] -hang on, I think I might have detected a small flaw.
Adam: So you failed.
Spike: Well, hey, you're supposed to be so smart, but you let me plan this thing! [Adam glares] Well, let's not quibble about who failed who, the important thing is making sure the Slayer is where we want-
Adam: Go.
Spike: Gone. [Walks to the door] So, um, we'll do this chip thing when I get back?

Spike: [sighs] Give a bloke a chance for his eyes to adjust. Damn fluorescent lights. Makes me look dead.

Spike: [to Buffy] As daft a notion as "Soulful Spike the Killer" is, it is nothing compared to the idea that another girl could mean anything to me. This chip--they did to me. I couldn't help it. But the soul, I got on my own--for you.
Buffy: I know.
Spike: So, yeah. I go and pass the time... with someone. But that's all it is is time, 'cause--God, help me, Buffy--it's still all about you.

Spike: [to Buffy] Uh ... I do remember what I said. The promise. To protect her. If I had done that ... even if I didn't make it ... you wouldn't have had to jump. But I want you to know I did save you. Not when it counted, of course, but ... after that. Every night after that. I'd see it all again ... do something different. Faster or more clever, you know? Dozens of times, lots of different ways ... Every night I'd save you.

Spike: [to Warren] Translate this for me, Spock. I don't speak loser.

Spike: [To Xander] Kids your age are heading off to University. You've made it as far as the basement. And Red here couldn't even keep Dog Boy happy. You can take the loser out of high school, but...
Willow: I see what you're doing. You're trying to get us to dust you.
Spike: I'm not. I just don't want pity from geeks more useless than I am.

Spike: Ain't we in a sodding engine?
Buffy: Spike, have you completely lost your mind?
Spike: Well, yes. Where have you been all night?

Spike: And I'm just supposed to help you out of the evilness of my heart?
Giles: Y-you help me and I-I don't kill you.
Spike: Oh, tremendously convincing. Try it again without the stutter.
Giles: Money. I could pay you money.
Spike: Oh, I like money. How much?
Giles: A h-hundred dollars.
Spike: A hundred dollars? You'll have to do a lot better than that. Two hundred.

Spike: Are you insane? We're supposed to kill the bitch, not leave gag gifts in her friends' beds.
Drusilla: But, Spike, the bad teacher was going to restore Angel's soul.
Spike: What if she did? If you ask me, I find myself preferring the old Buffy-whipped Angelus. This new, improved one is not playing with a full sack. I love a good slaughter as much as the next bloke, but his little pranks will only leave us with one incredibly brassed-off Slayer!
Angelus: Don't worry, Roller Boy. I've got everything under control. [ Molotov Cocktail lights the room on fire]

Spike: Buffy, Buffy, Buffy! Everywhere I turn she's there! That nasty little face, that bouncing shampoo-commercial hair, that whole sodding holier-than-thou attitude.
Harmony: Well, aren't we unholy by definition?
Spike: She follows me, you know, tracks me down. I'm her pet project. Drive Spike around the bend. Makes every day a fresh bout o' torture! [Spike throws a lapid and break it]
Harmony: Spike?!

Spike: Come on. Step on it, gramps
Giles: Step on what? I've driven tricycles with more power than this.

Spike: Do you even like me?
Buffy: [softly] Sometimes.
Spike: But you like what I do to you.
[Spike holds up a pair of handcuffs.]
Spike: Do you trust me?
Buffy: Never.

Spike: Don't I get a cookie?
Buffy: No.
Spike: Well, I gotta have something. I still have Buffy taste in my mouth.
Buffy: You're a pig, Spike.
Spike: Yeah, well, I'm not the one who wanted Wind Beneath My Wings for the first dance.
[Xander, Anya and Giles turn and stare incredulously at Buffy.]
Buffy: [embarrassed] ... That was the spell!

Spike: Found Ben's room at Glory's. Didn't learn much.
Xander: Wait, wait, wait. Ben? At Glory's? [Spike rolls his eyes.] You're saying all this time he's been subletting from her?
Spike: This ... is gonna be worth it.
[Spike bitch-slaps Xander upside the head. The two of them both grab their heads in pain.]
Spike/Xander: Ow!!