Giles: Xander's taken to teasing the less fortunate?
Buffy: Uh-huh.
Giles: And, there's been a noticeable change in both clothing and demeanor?
Buffy: Yes.
Giles: And, well, otherwise all his spare time is spent lounging about with imbeciles.
Buffy: It's bad, isn't it?
Giles: It's devastating. He's turned into a sixteen-year-old boy. Of course you'll have to kill him.

Giles: You can't be responsible for what Spike thinks or feels.
Buffy: Well, aren't I responsible? I mean, something about me had to make him feel that, right? Something that made him say, "Woof! That's the one for me!"

Giles: You have responsibilities that other girls do not.
Buffy: Oh! I know this one! Slaying entails certain sacrifices, blah blah biddy blah, I'm so stuffy, give me a scone.
Giles: It's as if you know me.

Giles: You're in a magic shop, and you can't think what Tara would like. I believe you're both profoundly stupid.
Xander: Well, we don't really know what kind of things witches like. What, are we gonna get her some cheesy crystal ball?
Giles: You bloody well better not. I've got mine already wrapped.

Glory: And another thing I just want you to know, this whole "beat you to death" thing I'm doing? This is valuable time out of life I'm never gonna get back.
...
Glory: Wait, I've always wanted to try this. You know that thing with worms, where if you have one and you rip it in half, you get two worms. Do you think that'll work with you? [Buffy headbutts her] Ow! You hit me. What are you crazy? You can't go around hitting people. What were you, born in a barn? Fine, be that way! [grabs Buffy by the throat] I just noticed something, you have superpowers, that is so cool. Can you fly? [throws Buffy across the room]

Glory: Any last words?
Buffy: Just one. Truck.
[A truck smashes into Glory]

Glory: I look around at this world you're so eager to be a part of and all I see is six billion lunatics looking for the fastest ride out. Who's not crazy? Look around, everyone's drinking, smoking, shooting up, shooting each other, or just plain screwing their brains out 'cause they don't want 'em anymore. I'm crazy? Honey, I'm the original one-eyed chicklet in the kingdom of the blind, 'cause at least I admit the world makes me nuts.

Government Consel: [about the Initiative] It was an experiment. The Initiative represented the Government's interests in not only controlling the otherworldly menace, but harnessing its power for our own military purposes. The considered opinion of this counsel is that this experiment has failed. Once the prototype took control of the complex, our soldiers suffered a 40% casualty rate. Only through the actions of the deserter and a group of civilian insurrectionists that our losses were not total. I trust the irony of that is not lost on any of us. Maggie Walsh's vision was brilliant, but ultimately unsupportable. The demons cannot be harnessed. The end result cannot be controlled. It is therefore our recommendation that this project be terminated and all records concerning it expunged. Our soldiers'll be debriefed. Standard confidentiality clause. We will monitor the civilians and usual measures prepared should they try to go public. I don't think they will. The Initiative itself will be filled in with concrete. Burn it down, gentlemen. Burn it down, and salt the Earth.

Guardian: One way or another, it can only mean an end is truly near.
Caleb: [grabs guardian's head from behind and snaps her neck] I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that last part, on account of her neck snapping and all. Did she say the end is near, or here?

Harmony: Is Antonio Banderas a vampire?
Spike: No.
Harmony: Can I make him a vampire?
Spike: No. [Beat] Wait, on second thought, yeah. Go do that. Take your time. Do Melanie and the kids as well.

Harmony: Who is-? Oh wait, I get it. Our little sex game was just the beginning, now you've gone and picked up some cheap queen of the damned to dress up like your precious Drudzilla.
Spike: Harm-
Harmony: You'd better not be thinking what I think you're thinking, because my answer is the same as always. No threesomes unless it's boy, boy, girl, or Charlize Theron.
Spike: Harm, you moron, this is Drusilla.
Harmony: You have got some nerve coming back here after breaking my Boo-Boo's heart.
Drusilla: [Mouths to Spike] Boo-Boo?

Holden Webster: Whoa. Did my face just change?
Buffy: Yeah. You look human now. You can do that. Go back and forth.
Holden: Oh, so I'm a vampire. [laughs] How weird is that?
Buffy: Sorry.
Holden: No, no. Feels great. Strong. Like I'm connected to a powerful all consuming evil that's gonna suck the world into a fiery oblivion. How about you?
Buffy: Not so much connected.
Holden: No, no. I mean, with the stake? And the cross? You do this kind of thing a lot?
Buffy: I'm The Slayer. It's sort of a thing.
Holden: So, what? You like fight vampires professionally?
Buffy: Oh, I don't get paid. It's more like a Calling. Since... even in school.
Holden: I heard a lot of rumors about you back then. You were all mysterious.
Buffy: I was?
Holden: Well, you were never around. A lot of kids thought you were dating some really old guy, or that you were just heavy religious. Scott Hope said you were gay.
Buffy: What? I dated that ringworm!
Holden: He says that about every girl he breaks up with. Then, last year, big surprise... he comes out.

Holden: Oh my God!
Buffy: Oh, your God what?
Holden: Oh, well, not my God. Because I defy him and all of his works. Does he exist? Is there word on that by the way?
Buffy: Nothing solid.

Holden: Oh, I have so much to learn. Come on, isn't this insane? I mean, I was afraid to talk to you in high school, and now we're, like, mortal enemies. Hey, wouldn't it be cool if we became nemeses?
Buffy: Is that how you say the word?
Holden: We're gonna have to fight to the death, aren't we?
Buffy: It's the time-honored custom.
Holden: Wow, reality just shows up sometimes, doesn't it? But, you know, I've got the bloodlust pumping, and I kinda get it. I'm looking for a fight. And, oh, it's nothing personal.
Buffy: Oh, no, I mean, you've been great.
...
Holden: Hey, I don't mean to be Count Buttinsky here, but you just don't seem as thrilled. Is it because we're gonna fight?
Buffy: It's because I'm gonna win.
Holden: Hello! Two years of Tae Kwon Do and vampire strength. I think somebody's counting their chickens.
Buffy: You're not leaving this graveyard. Can't let you.
...
Buffy: If you knew what I've done, what I've let myself become. My best friends don't even know. You'd laugh if you heard some of the things I've done to them.
Holden: Buffy, I'm here to kill you, not to judge you.

Jenny: Honestly, what is it about them that bothers you so much?
Giles: The smell.
Jenny: Computers don't smell, Rupert.
Giles: I know. Smell is the most powerful trigger to the memory there is. A certain flower, or a a whiff of smoke can bring up experiences long forgotten. Books smell musty and-and-and rich. The knowledge gained from a computer is a - it, uh, it has no no texture, no-no context. It's-it's there and then it's gone. If it's to last, then-then the getting of knowledge should be, uh, tangible, it should be, um, smelly.