Adam: [After killing Professor Walsh, his first act of life] Mommy.

Adam: You fear death. Being immortal, you fear it more than those to whom it comes naturally. Vampires are a paradox.
Boone: Okay, we're a paradox. That's cool.
Adam: Demon in a human body. You walk in both worlds and belong to neither. I can relate.

Ampata: You are always thinking of others before yourself. You remind me of someone from very long ago. The Inca Princess.
Buffy: Cool! A princess.
Ampata: They told her that she was the only one. That only she could defend her people from the nether world. Out of all the girls in her generation... she was the only one... chosen. Do you know the story?
Buffy: It's fairly familiar.
Ampata: She was sixteen, like us. She was offered as a sacrifice and went to her death. Who knows what she had to give up to fulfill her duty to others?

Amy: Oh my God!
Oz: Kids?
Xander: Why was your mom there?
Buffy: More bad, she picked last night, of all nights, for a surprise bonding visit.
Willow: God, your mom would actually take the time to do that with you? [Buffy looks at her] That really wasn't the point of the story, was it?

Ancient Woman: You pulled it out of the rock. I was one of those who put it in there.
Buffy: What is it?
Ancient Woman: [admires the scythe] A weapon. A scythe. Forged in secrecy for one like you who... I'm sorry. What's your name?
Buffy: Buffy.
Ancient Woman: No, really. [Buffy shrugs] We forged it in secrecy and kept it hidden from the Shadow Men, who--
Buffy: Yeah. Met those guys. Didn't really care too much for 'em.
Ancient Woman: Ahh, yes, then you know. And they became the watchers. And the watchers watched the slayers. But we were watching them.
Buffy: Oh! So you're like... what are you?
Ancient Woman: Guardians. Women who want to help and protect you. We forged this centuries ago, halfway around the world.
Buffy: Hence, the Luxor Casino theme.
Ancient Woman: Forged there, it was put to use right here... to kill the last pure demon that walked upon the Earth. The rest were already driven under. And then there were men here, and then there were monks. And then there was a town, and now there was you. And the scythe remained hidden.
Buffy: I don't understand. How is it possible that we didn't know any of this?
Guardian: We hid, too. We had to, until now. We're the last surprise.

Andrew: Think they'll let my aunt bring me my Discman?
Jonathan: That's what you worried about? In-flight entertainment? We're in jail!
Andrew: We're in custody. We haven't been charged yet.
Jonathan: Thank you, Dragnet. It doesn't matter what they call it, they got us, okay? We're going down. [lowers his voice] That guy's been looking at me. I think he wants to make me his butt monkey.

Andrew: [awed] The Slayer touched you.
Jonathan: Yeah, it was sexy the way she touched me real hard with her fists.

Andrew: I think a guy slayer would be badass. Like--like if there was this ninja, a guy slayer would be like, "you may be silent, but this'll shut you up." Hiya.
Dawn: Buffy could stomp ninja ass.

Andrew: It's a full house. I think it's a good time to do some introductions, don't you, gentle viewers?
...
Andrew: [bright fantasy shot, clear, emotional voice] You've already met Buffy. She's beautiful, with a lion's heart and the face of an angel. She's never afraid because she knows her side will always win. [Spike enters shot, somehow shirtless] Buffy and Spike have some kind of history. You can feel the heat between them although, technically as a vampire, he's room-temperature. [Anya enters shot, eating grapes] Anya. A feisty waif with a fiery temper and a vulnerable heart that she hides even from herself. [pan to unnamed Potential Slayer eating cereal] This lovely girl... [uncertain - back to normal voice] I don't remember her name.

Andrew: Man, this place gives me the creeps. It's like in Wonder Woman, issue 297�299.
Xander: "Catacombs". Yeah, with the skeletons.
Andrew, Xander: That was cool.
[Pause]
Xander: [embarrassed] Move it! This way!
[He shoves Andrew ahead.]

Andrew: Plucked from an ordinary life, handed a destiny
Xander: Say Skywalker, and I smack ya.
...
Andrew: It's like--well, it's almost like this metaphor for womanhood, isn't it? The sort of flowering that happens when a girl realizes that she's part of a fertile heritage stretching back to Eve, and-
Xander: I'll pay you to talk about Star Wars again.

Andrew: There something you can see going on between Principal Wood and Spike ... sexual tension you could cut with a knife!
[Andrew is filming Spike smoking a cigarette. We see Spike through the camera]
Spike: Hey, I told you get that thing out of my face! Now get out of here before I tear your head off!
Andrew: Spike, the light was behind you.
Spike: Oh sorry. [Takes a step forward] Hey, I told you to get that...

Andrew: Think your little witch buddy's gonna stop with us? You saw her! She's a truck-driving magic mama! And we've got maybe seconds before Darth Rosenberg grinds everybody into Jawa burgers! And not one of you bunch has the midi-clorians to stop her!
Xander: [after a brief silence] You've never had any tiny bit of sex, have you?
Anya: The annoying virgin has a point.

Andrew: Willow, a call for you from L.A. Somebody named Fred. The guy sounds kind of effeminate.

Andrew: Yes, it was in Buffy's underwear drawer. She has nice things.
The First (as Jonathan): Show me.
Andrew: Well, I didn't take 'em, but there were thongs and regular underpants-