Hodgins: [sees the "Gramps" tattoo on Michael's arm] He's tattooed? You tattooed MY CHILD?
Billy: Relax. It's a press on - for now.

Hodgins: Dr. Brennan, are you sure you don't want a chair? The way you're squatting, I'm worried that little guy in there is going to drop right out.
Brennan: Thank you, but my uterus and cervical plug are quite healthy. Also, I'm not having a boy. It's a girl.
Booth: [smiles] A girl. [becomes alarmed] Excuse me?
Brennan: The fetus inside my womb has female genitalia.
Hodgins: You guys are having a girl? That is so awesome!
Booth: Okay, wait. Just wait one second. Can I have a word with you here? You're guessing, right? What we're having?
Brennan: No, I had an ultrasound at the doctor's this morning. Are you displeased with the results?
Booth: No, I'm thrilled, but you can't just spring something like that on me in public. Why didn't you tell me that you had a doctor's appointment?
Brennan: Ultrasounds are poorly pixelated and black and white. You only like movies that are in color.
Booth: I would have loved this movie! It would have been my favorite movie of all time!
Brennan: I had no idea that our child's genitals were so important to you.
Booth: Bones, I am the father.

Hodgins: I found more papers in her bra.
Angela: Well, these papers from her pockets are all faded. I have no idea what was written or printed on them.
Hodgins: It must be something important.
Angela: Why do you think that? I mean, you have papers in your pockets and so do I.
Hodings: Yeah, but do you also stuff papers into your bra?
Angela: [smiles] Not since high school.
Hodgins: She was hiding it, right? That means they're important. You know, maybe even secret.
Angela: You think this is some kind of government conspiracy?
Hodgins: Ang, in 1963 the positions of the Soviet nuclear fleet were sewn into the lining of a hunting cap.
Angela: The video spectral comparator should be able to tell us what was once on here.
Hodgins: You never know, I mean, these markings could be code. See? Here.
Angela: Yeah, it's a UPC code on a coupon.
Hodgins: Ten cents off any three pack of tapioca pudding.
Angela: Oh my God. Oh my God! Terrorists are trying to corner the market on tapioca pudding and take down America!
Hodgins: You're mocking me.
Angela: You're quick.

Hodgins: So, I was sifting through the soil at the bottom of the grave and I found fibers coated in linseed oil.
Wendell: You said her clothes had absorbed the oil.
Hodgins: Her clothes are made of polyethylene terephthalate.
Wendell: Can't you just say polyester?
Hodgins: I did.

Max: You two don't understand what happens when the system turns on you! I do!

Pelant: It's the giant flaw in our system: trying to make the system more secure, we make it more complex. But the more complex we make it, the more insecure we actually are.
Booth: Well, it turns out I'm not a complex guy. I'm a simple guy. And simple guys take down guys like you.

Sweets: What part of "stop the car" don't you understand?
Booth: Just put your seatbelt back on! CLOSE THE DOOR!

[Booth has fallen down a ravine while Brennan and Hodgins are looking for the corpse's skull]
Booth: [picks the skull up out of the water and treats it like a puppet] "Hey look, you found me!" Can we go to the airport now?

[Sheila Burnside is in the FBI Interrogation Room with her lawyer]
Bob Fisher: Do not talk! Not... one... word!
Sheila: [regarding herself and Oliver] We did it a few times, but it didn't mean anything!
...
Booth: Where was your husband the night Oliver died?
Sheila: Hugh wouldn't kill anyone.
Bob Fisher: I hate my job.

[Sweets has walked in the Jeffersonian lab wearing a bright blue motorcycle helmet]
Caroline: Why is that man wearing an Easter egg on his head?

[Two postal workers are pilfering items from the dead letter office. One of them, Ronald, opens a box and finds some remains.]
Tom: That's an animal. I found a dead cat once. Early retirement is looking good. [Ronald finds a skull and screams] That's it. I retire. Welcome to the US Postal Service, kid.