Booth: Hey, guys! Guys, listen, I'm going to need some science jibber-jabber to distract these guys!
Brennan: Oh, do you know who's really good at jibber-jabber?
Booth: Who?
Brennan: Me!
Booth: Perfect! My lucky day!
[...]
Brennan: Because you have forbidden us from taking samples in order to estimate the osteoconductivity of the oblique taphonomic remodeling to the mid saggital plane, enchaplametric transaction, or translation, if you will of the intramatrix can be deduced by correlating the force displacement values with the osteogenic and geogenic hydrogel nanocomposite we placed inside the surrogate.
Agent White: Which is the cantaloupe?
Brennan: You understand me perfectly.

Booth: I do not like cats.
Sweets: Well, that's consistent with the person you were before your brain surgery.
Booth: I don't own a nightclub, I'm not married to Bones, you are not a singing bartender and I hate clowns. So, can I go back to work now?
Sweets: When our sense of reality is challenged - you know - really challenged, it can take some time to regain our footing.
Booth: Look, it's been six weeks since I put my brain box through the blender, there. I am back, baby, huh! Special Agent Seeley Joseph Booth!

Booth: I don't do really good with change, I guess.
Bones: Well, you're better than I am
Booth: The pyramids are better at change than you are. ��It's a joke. Hey, I was being affectionate.
Bones: Oh. [Pause] Will you go back to the army?
Booth: It's what best for me right now.
Bones: I'll only be gone for a year.
Booth: Me too. So, hey, what's a year?
Bones: It's the time it takes for the Earth to make a full revolution around the sun.
Booth: In the scheme of things. You know, the grand scheme of things. I'm just saying a year, you know, it's not too bad.
Bones: Right.
Booth: Right?
Bones: We can come back, pick up where we left off. Nothing really has to change
Booth: No, things have to change. You know what? Hey, I taught you about eye contact, you taught me about evolution. So�� here's to change.
Bones: To change.

Booth: I still can be surprised by people.
Brennan: Is that good or bad?
Booth: Bad, I think. I don't know.
Brennan: Well, if she's convicted, even with good behavior, she'll be in prison for the next fifteen years.
Booth: He said they're soulmates and he'll wait for however long it takes for her to get out.
Brennan: Soulmates?
Booth: Soulmates. Yeah.
Brennan: The idea of soulmates actually originated with Plato.
Booth: Yeah, from the clay kids play with.
Brennan: No! The anc -- aw. [laughs] You're joking.
Booth: Me, joke? No. [smirks]
Brennan: The ancient Greek philosopher. His theory was that humans originally consisted of four arms, four legs and two faces. Zeus was threatened by their power and split them all in half. Condemning us all to spend our lives trying to complete ourselves.
Booth: [smiles] I don't believe that's true.
Brennan: [laughs] I agree. It's ridiculous.
Booth: Right? [they smile]

Booth: I'm a gambler. [Brennan gives him a quizzical look] I believe in giving this a chance. Look, I wanna give this a shot.
Brennan: You mean us? [Booth nods] No, the FBI won't let us work together --
Booth: Don't do that, that is no reason -- [he kisses her, but after a moment she pushes him away]
Brennan: [close to tears] No! No!
Booth: [desperately] Why? Why?
Brennan: You -- you thought you were protecting me, but you're the one who needs protecting.
Booth: Protecting? From what?
Brennan: From me. I -- I don't have your kind of open heart.
Booth: Just -- just give it a chance, that's all I'm asking!
Brennan: No, you said it yourself: the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome.
Booth: Well, then let's go for a different outcome, here! All right, let's just hear me out, right? You know when you talk to older couples who, you know, have been in love for thirty or forty or fifty years, all right? It's always the guy who says, "I knew." I knew, right from the beginning.
Brennan: Your evidence is anecdotal.
Booth: I'm that guy. Bones, I'm that guy! I know.
Brennan: [crying] I -- I am not a gambler. I'm a scientist. I can't change! I don't know how. I don't know how. [Booth looks crushed] Please don't look so sad.
Booth: All right, okay. [sighs, then hangs his head.] You're right. You're right.
Brennan: Can we still work together?
Booth: [Booth hesitates, Brennan gives him a pleading look] Yeah. [wipes away a tear]
Brennan: Thank you.
Booth: But I gotta move on. You know, I gotta find someone who -- who's gonna love me in -- in thirty years, or forty or fifty.
Brennan: I know.

Booth: I'm losing it. I'm not up to speed here. I woke up this morning and I realized that I didn't even know if I liked brown sugar on my oatmeal.
Brennan: Next time, call me. You like brown sugar on everything!
Booth: I'm the one who is supposed to know if people are lying. Who do I call for that?
Brennan: Sweets.
Booth: Sweets?
Brennan: You said he's like a human lie detector test!
Booth: I don't like things at half speed, you know? I'm a full speed kind of a guy.
Brennan: Well, even at half speed, you're twice as fast as anyone else.

Booth: It takes a village, Bones.
Brennan: I beg your pardon?
Booth: A village to raise a kid properly! It takes a village!
Brennan: Metaphorically. It doesn't mean we must all grow up in hamlets of 800 people or less.
Booth: Thanks. Will you be my village?
Brennan: Huh?
Booth: I need Parker to know that I lead a full and rewarding life.
Brennan: But you don't.
Booth: What?? Yes, I do!
Brennan: No, you don't. You work too much, you don't socialize, all which prevents you from having a sex life.
Booth: Okay, let's take a hint from the suburbs and just make it look good.
Brennan: Wait, you to know if I'll help you fool your son into thinking your life is gratifying?
Booth: Yeah! Will you do it?
Brennan: Well, how?
Booth: Come to dinner with us, have fun, laugh at my jokes.
Brennan: That might actually turn out to be fun, thus becoming a self fulfilling desire.
Booth: Right! So, you'll do it?
Brennan: Yes! I will be your hamlet of 800 people or less.

Booth: Michelle's family to me. I'm here number one uncle.
Perry: Really? She, she didn't meantion...
Booth: I'm also a trained sniper.
Perry: Ok, wow, oh...
Booth: Listen, Perry, all right? You're a red-blooded young man and uh, Michelle's - she's an attractive young girl. So I assume that you...
Perry: What? No, no, no!
Booth: Because Michelle deserves your respect, you understand?
Perry: I do! I do respect her. We were just going to the movies tonight.
Booth: All right. And if you behave anyway less than a gentleman to her, I'll find you. I think we understand each other, right?

Booth: No. No. Uh, let's -- you think, we can go twenty minutes on this case without talking about testicles?
Sweets: Please.
Brennan: Okay.
Booth: Great.
Brennan: Booth has made a social contract with a marine biologist.
Sweets: Sorry?
Booth: [laughing] It's amazing that you go from injured testicles to the woman I'm dating. [turning to Sweets] And you, you're supposed to say, "Oh, that's interesting," in a very annoyed way.
Brennan: It's a logical transition.
Sweets: But it is very interesting.
Brennan: Booth and I are friends. Catherine is an intelligent, attractive woman, and I'm intrigued by their developing relationship.
Booth: That's nice. I think.
Sweets: Yeah. I think it is nice.
Booth: Thank you, Bones.
Sweets: Wow. You two seem to be handling dating very well. I'm impressed.
Brennan: Well, you've known me for two years, Sweets. You should expect to be impressed by me.

Booth: Right now I'm worried about a safe distance between you and me.
Brennan: Why?
Booth: Why? Because we're going to a church, and you tend to get blasphemous in churches.
Brennan: You're afraid if God smites me with lightning you could get hit?
Booth: Yeah, I'm usually standing right beside you.
Brennan: The Greek god Zeus also used lightning to incinerate his enemies, although Zeus apparently had better aim than your god.
Booth: Exactly. Stuff like that. Just don't say stuff like that.

Booth: So I decided to take you up on your offer.
Brennan: What offer?
Booth: You invited me to your house for Christmas dinner. You forgot you invited me.
Brennan: No, it's just -- no! My dad brought by my second cousin and I really didn't like her.
Booth: Well that makes sense.
Brennan: Why do you say that?
Booth: Because she's family. Ninety percent of the time, family just gets under your skin. That's the difference between family and friends.
Brennan: She's unapologetically dogmatic, she lives her entire life based on the quotations of Benjamin Franklin.
Booth: Maybe she feels the same way about you and your mania of logic.
Brennan: Mania?
Booth: Okay, enthusiasm.

Booth: Sorry, I couldn't get a pass. I had to sneak off the base to come say goodbye. Listen, Bones, you've got to be really careful in that Indonesian jungle, okay?
Brennan: Booth, in a week you're going to a war zone. Please, don't be a hero ... please, just don't be you.
Booth: [takes her hand] One year from today we meet at the reflecting pool on the mall. Right by the...
Brennan: ...Coffee cart. I know. One year from today.

Booth: Steve Rifton, 26-year-old mailman reported missing by his wife twelve days ago. You figured out he was a mailman and guess what? He's a mailman!
Brennan: Why are you surprised?
Booth: It doesn't surprise me. It amazes me sometimes how you can figure that stuff out. It's a mailman! You figured that out!
Brennan: [smiling] I'm good at my job.
Booth: Wait until you see what I've got here. Okay, here --
Brennan: Marked in red.
Booth: Right. Is Steve Rifton's postal route. And here --
Brennan: Marked in black.
Booth: Right, is the grease truck's route. See what I've done here?
Brennan: Obviously you've created a geographic Venn diagram.
Booth: No, no, incorrect. What I've shown is here is they've overlapped in the same area.
Brennan: You need to Google "Venn diagram."

Booth: You know, when I was a kid, Bones, I always wanted to be a hobo. I wanted to ride the rails, play the guitar --
Brennan: Be malnourished, riddled with preventable disease.
Booth: You know what? You could make Santa Claus cry. You really could.
Brennan: Hey, you're wearing your belt buckled again! Cocky.
Booth: Yeah. Ever since the whole coma thing I just kept staring at it thinking to myself, why would I wear something like this?
Brennan: Because you love it. You always have.
Booth: Yeah, that's what I landed on, Bones.
Brennan: Oh, well I'm glad you did, because I like it. It's Boothy.
Booth: Boothy?

Brennan: 33. She was 33.
Angela: Well, how do you know that?
Brennan: Because I'm the one who broke her jaw... with a tennis racket. This is one of my classmates... Evelyn Simms.