Booth: Every man in this country would like to sleep with you.
Brennan: Are you being nice to me or awful to the British men?

Booth: [sees Brennan wearing cats-eye glasses while examining remains] Bones. All right, what I want you to do is take off your glasses, shake out your hair and say, "Mr. Booth, do you know what the penalty is for an overdue book?"
Brennan: [looks confused] Why?
Booth: Never mind.

Booth: Any lock worth picking is worth kicking.

Booth: Are you okay, Bones?
Brennan: Yeah, I'm fine. Here. [Places Booth's handkerchief back in his pocket, then looks to Sweets] Why are you nodding?
Sweets: Nothing. Just Wyatt made an observation about you two and I think I just saw what he saw.

Booth: C'mon, Bones, you ought to take time to smell the primates!
Brennan: Why? They're malodorous and they throw their excrement.
[the girls have finished telling Hodgins how female lions are better than the males after discussing how obnoxious men are]

Booth: Can you get lost?
Brennan: Why?
Booth: I can be devastatingly charming if you aren't watching me.

Booth: Don't fire Max. You know, let him keep his job. He's a teacher, not a janitor.
Brennan: I can't overlook the sanctity of the forensic lab, Booth.
Booth: Yeah. Maybe you can overlook it for me.
Brennan: For you?
Booth: Yeah. Personal favor.
Brennan: Like a partner thing?
Booth: [smiles] Partner thing.
Brennan: [smiles] I know you, Booth. You're trying to do me a favor by telling me it's a favor for you.

Booth: Hey, you know what? Forget about Agent Perotta. All right? Nothing is gonna change between me and you.
Brennan: Well, entropy is a natural force that pulls everything apart in a subatomic level. Everything changes.
Booth: Not everything, Bones. [pushes Brennan around on the ice, and they laugh] Not everything.
Brennan: You're gonna make me fall!
Booth: I'm never gonna make you fall. I'm always here.

Booth: I'm just donating.
Cam: So you decided?
Booth: No, no. I am deciding. I-N-G.
Cam: I know you, Seeley. You're going do it. You want to do it. You're not really doing it, but it's still doing it, even if you're not doing it the way it should be done.
Booth: She wants a kid, okay? It'll make her more personable with people.
Cam: And what will it do for you?
Booth: She'll get what she wanted!
Cam: A piece of you?

Booth: I'm thinking the victim wandered away from his car, he was drunk, and he ended up in this area. The same thing happened to a guy last year in the giraffe section.
Brennan: Giraffes are herbivores. They don't eat people.
Booth: That part is different, but the guy broke his arm. Did you know that giraffes can weigh up to two tons?
Brennan: Yes. Everyone knows that.
Booth: And they sleep less than two hours a day.
Brennan: That I did not know.
Booth: Yes! Pinky stumps The Brain!

Booth: Jared wants me to go to India with him.
Brennan: Indiana?
Booth: India, okay? Taj Mahal, cows, tigers, cobras, Slumdog Millionaire.
Brennan: I know. Are you going?
Booth: We don't like each other.
Brennan: So, not going?
Booth: Well, he's my brother. I still love him.
Brennan: I'm confused. You are going?
Booth: Jared should not go to India alone. He'll get in all kinds of trouble.
Brennan: You said he's never been alone.
Booth: Exactly! He'll be eaten alive.
Brennan: If you go with him, then he won't be alone. You won't let him be bad and his frontal lobe always be the size of a raisin. That's what you said. It makes no scientific sense.
Booth: Yeah. Got it.

Booth: Just make sure when they put me in the ground, I'm dead.
Brennan: Yeah. No problem.
Booth: Right? Maybe, uh, you know, leave my body out for a few hours and check on me every once in a while.
Brennan: No, I'd rather refrigerate you, or else you would start to smell.

Booth: Nobody looks inside the casket, okay Mr. Tung?
Tung: How do I do that?
Booth: Just, um- w- Bones, how does he do that?
Brennan: Say someone enters and desires to gaze upon the visage of their dead relative one more time, in a vain effort to say goodbye to someone who can neither see nor hear them because there's no such thing as a soul--
Booth: Bones, just- ju- Bones, Bones. Just give him a reason not to show the body.
Brennan: We are encountering fluid seepage at the moment, and the body is not available for viewing just now.
Tung: I would never phrase it that way.
Booth: I know, it's perfect! It's so gross.

Booth: Oh, I'm just saying that life is a lot more than what you cook up with your chemistry sets. Miracles do happen.

Booth: Okay, what do we got?
Brennan: This one is a portion of the sacrum. It's definitely human. There's char marks. [sniffs the bone]
Booth: Oh, God. You know I hate when you sniff and smell dead things!