Booth: [drunk] God, you know, I love this place. I love it. I love this country. You know, I tell ya something. If I was working law enforcement back in the day when they threw all that tea, all right, in the harbor ... I'm good, all right, I'm ... I'm good. I would have rounded everybody up and we'd still be English.
Brennan: You think?
Booth: Yup. Yup. Definitely.

Booth: [telling about an embarrassing episode from high school] So this kid, right, we're walking past and he calls us Philistines. You know what that means, right?
Brennan: Yes, an uneducated person.
Booth: Well, I didn't. I said, "Hey, I'm not Philistine, I'm Catholic."
Brennan: [chuckles] Okay, that's sort of embarrassing.
Booth: [serious] That's not the embarrassing part. My friend, he hangs the kid over the stairwell by his ankles. I laughed, Bones. I should have protected him, and I laughed.

Booth: Angela and Hodgins are fine, Zack is back, Cam is locked in. What I need to know, Bones, is are we solid? Because, you and me, Bones, we're the center.
Brennan: And the center must hold. [They shake hands. Booth chuckles.] What?
Booth: I thought you were gonna kiss my hand again.
Brennan: I didn't kiss your hand. You put it over my cup.
Booth: Felt like you kissed it.
Brennan: Did not.
Booth: Did too.
Brennan: Did not.
Booth: Did.

Booth: Here we are, all of us, basically alone, separate creatures just circling each other, all searching for that slightest hint of a real connection. Some look in the wrong places. Some, they just give up hope because in their mind, they're thinking "Oh, there's nobody out there for me." But all of us, we keep trying, over and over again. Why? Because, every once in a while... every once in a while, two people meet, and there's that spark. And yes, Bones, he's handsome, and she's beautiful, and maybe that's all they see at first. But making love... making love... that's when two people become one.
Brennan: It is scientifically impossible for two objects to occupy the same space.
Booth: Yeah, but what's important is we try. And when we do it right, we get close.
Brennan: To what? Breaking the laws of physics?
Booth: Yeah, Bones. A miracle... Those people -- role-playing, and their fetishes, and their little sex games. It's crappy sex, at least compared to the real thing.
Brennan: You're right
Booth: Yeah, but I ...[laughing] Oh, wait a second. I just won that argument?
Brennan: Yep.

Booth: Hey.
Brennan: Hay, is for horses...
Booth: [laughs slightly] That's funny Bones.
Brennan: I found it on this website about horses.
Booth: Yeah?

Booth: My idea of art is a half-naked woman on the side of a van.
Sweets: That's interesting.
Booth: No, it's not interesting, Sweets, 'cause it was a joke.

Booth: No. It's not a lie lie, Bones. It's more like everybody agreeing that, up to a certain age, kids deserve to live a different kind of truth.
Brennan: Okay. By that reasoning, what we should do is figure out a lie Russ could tell the girls so they wouldn't know he's in jail.
Booth: That is a brilliant Christmas idea.
Brennan: It was intended to be a scathing and incisive comment.

Booth: Okay. You're not Dr. Brennan today. You're Temperance.
Brennan: I don't know what that means.
Booth: The scientist part of you got sidelined temporarily.
Brennan: I still don't know what that means.
Booth: Bones, just, take the brain, okay, put it in neutral. All right? Take the heart, pop it into overdrive. [makes engine noises and mimes driving a race car]
Brennan: [smiles] Sometimes I think you're from another planet. [laughs] And sometimes I think you're really very nice.

Booth: So this girl, she had this game where she would ask me a question -
Brennan: What kind of question?
Booth: It doesn't matter, okay? So if I got the question wrong, I'd have to take off a piece of my clothing. So of course I knew all the answers, but I pretended that I didn't.
Brennan: So you could take off your clothes.
Booth: Exactly. Now, my point is, I'm standing there, you know, in my socks and my St. Christopher medal, and she runs off. She runs off with the sleeping bag and all my clothes and I'm standing there starko.
Brennan: Well, why would she do that?
Booth: Well, I suppose she heard I was under the bleachers with another girl the week before.
Brennan: Okay. This is a story about sexual prowess, Booth. You're bragging!
Booth: [laughs] I had to run across the campus buck naked!
Brennan: You're laughing about it now! You enjoyed displaying your penis. It showed alpha male mastery.

Booth: There's only one place that uses the pink rock in its foundations. It's an old deserted bank on the Anacostia River.
Cam: Bingo, baby.
Brennan: Why "bingo, baby"?
Booth: I checked into the ownership of the place.
Brennan: Why "bingo, baby"?

Booth: This is crazy. It's -- it's not right. Tell him that it's not right.
Brennan: Is it?
Booth: Oh! You're on his side. Why don't you go play Voltron with him?

Booth: You know, evolution is long, long process. It takes hundreds of years.
Brennan: Thousands.
Booth: Why do you always have to correct me?
Brennan: To help you evolve.

Booth: You know, you look very mom-like with that baby monitor.
Brennan: I have a responsibility under state law as a foster parent. I've already bought him toys and clothes.
Booth: Ah. So you've bought him some clothes?
Brennan: Well, I sent an intern, who apparently loves bears, which in reality would devour a small child.

Brennan: Booth, who is a very honest person, says that at this time of year deception is necessary for the happiness of little children.
Booth: I'm being misquoted.
Sweets: Booth is absolutely right.
Booth: She got the gist.
Sweets: There is a fictional element to Christmas.
Brennan: You mean the whole "birth of a Savior" rigmarole?
Booth: It is not rigmarole!
Sweets: No, Dr. Brennan, it's the feeling of Christmas. What people call the Christmas spirit. It's a kind of dream or hope we carry with us from childhood. But as adults--
Booth: Are you including you in that?
Sweets: As adults we're imbued by the pragmatic routines of daily life, which make it difficult for us to regard anything with childlike wonder. But, you know, it's all right for us to try. We put on silly hats, drape trees in sparkly lights and wrap gifts in garish paper, and that's good for us. It's not only all right to allow children the transient experience of innocence and joy, it's our responsibility.
Brennan: Okay.
Booth: Okay?
Brennan: I found that very helpful.
Booth: That's what I've been saying the last four days!

Brennan: Coochie-coo? [The baby cries.] Oh, no, no! No need to fuss! Obviously something is upsetting you. Children have toys. You must have some. Let me see [finds a purple elephant in the diaper bag, holds it up to the baby] You know, elephants are not purple. This is wrong.