Booth: You know, you need a better screening process down at the museum.
Goodman: Ironic, given we contract that out to the FBI.

Booth: You put a hit out on my partner?
Ortez: She's not FBI.
Booth: [punches him in the face, grabs him and points his gun right at his throat] I never said anything about the FBI. She's my partner, see. And if anything happens to her, I will find you and I will kill you. I won't think twice. Come here, look in my eyes. [pushes barrel of the gun into his mouth and cocks it] Look at my face. If anything happens to her, I will kill you. This is between you and me, and nobody sees, nobody knows.

Booth: You're a smart ass, you know that?
Brennan: Objectively I'd say I'm very smart, although it has nothing to do with my ass.

Brennan: Why do the FBI always stick their morgues in the most depressing basement they can find?
Booth: Don't be such a snob, Bones, okay? Not everyone gets to play in a multi-million dollar lab, you know... with skylights.
Brennan: It's because as a society we feel the need to hide death away. The people who deal with death are viewed as freaks.

Brennan: [after catching the head that fell from the tree] I am going to need an evidence bag!
Booth: Heads up!
[the rest of the body falls in front of Brennan]
Brennan: I am going to need a bigger bag.

Brennan: [checking the map on the cellphone] Okay, I bet Tic-Toc Team is here...two levels above us.
Booth: Don't call them Tic-Toc team, okay? They're Tac Team, it's short for tactical.
Brennan: But, wait, can I just have a gun at least until they get here?
Booth: [sighs and takes out the gun from his sock] Here. It's not for shooting rats, it's for psychos with climbing axes.

Brennan: [imitating John Wayne] "Listen, cowboy. Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway."
Booth: What was that? The Duke? That was horrible. That was, like, Jerry Lewis.
Brennan: Was not.

Brennan: [looking at the screen] What exactly am I supposed to be squinting at?
Booth: It's like pornography; you'll know it when you see it.

Brennan: [to Dr. Goodman] Bones don't just disappear. I thought this was a secure facility. You assured me this was a secure facility. I could be working at Stanford, you know? This never would've happened at Stanford!
Goodman: We spend three-quarters of a million annually on security!
Brennan: Obviously that's not enough. [Booth comes in] I want my bones! Did you find my bones?
Booth: Ooh, maybe you just want to, you know, chill a little?
Brennan: Chill?
Booth: Yeah. You know, take a pill?
Brennan: Listen, dude, my lab was violated, my bones were stolen, so I think I'll remain warm for a little while longer.
Angela: Honey, maybe you should focus on your breathing.
Booth: Breathing.
Angela: Count to ten.
Booth: Count to ten.
Angela: Have a shot of Jack.
Booth: Shot of Jack.

Brennan: Angela, nothing Pete and I ever did was messy.
Angela: Then you weren't doing it right

Brennan: Anthropologically speaking, gifts are a way of asserting dominance in a group. Now imagine an entire holiday devoted to self-promotion, especially in this materialistic culture. How can you expect me to get behind that? How can you get behind that?
Booth: Wow, that's... that's deep. It's a very deep pile of crap.
Brennan: You came to me with information this morning, a peace offering. But it was to make you feel better, not me. Proves my point.

Brennan: Are you going to arrest me for assault?
Booth: From what I saw, purely self defense.
Brennan: Maybe I shouldn't carry a gun after all.
Booth: Hell, you can have mine.

Brennan: Are you going to help with the digging?
Booth: Well I would but, psh, this is a $1200 suit.

Brennan: Assume the victim was frozen solid when he was fed into the chipper.
Zack: No way!
Booth: [to Brennan] The correct response would be "yes way."
Brennan: Oh. [to Zack] Yes way.

Brennan: Do you ever go on vacation?
Zack: I take my vacation when you take your vacation.
Brennan: What do you do?
Zack: Go back home to Michigan, see the family. I have three brothers and four sisters.
Brennan: Do you enjoy that?
Zack: God, no. I made the mistake of telling them I work with corpses and skeletons. They think I'm a freak.
Brennan: Then why do you go?
Zack: They're my family... They love me.