Brennan: [after catching the head that fell from the tree] I am going to need an evidence bag!
Booth: Heads up!
[the rest of the body falls in front of Brennan]
Brennan: I am going to need a bigger bag.

Brennan: [answers mobile phone] Brennan. Oh, hello, Douglas. No, I can't tonight. I'm busy. I'm sorry. Okay, goodbye!
Clark: So you have plans tonight? That's nice!
Brennan: No. No. A date on Valentine's Day comes with the expectation of affectionate companionship and probably sex. I have no intention of engaging in either.

Brennan: [checking the map on the cellphone] Okay, I bet Tic-Toc Team is here...two levels above us.
Booth: Don't call them Tic-Toc team, okay? They're Tac Team, it's short for tactical.
Brennan: But, wait, can I just have a gun at least until they get here?
Booth: [sighs and takes out the gun from his sock] Here. It's not for shooting rats, it's for psychos with climbing axes.

Brennan: [confronting Sweets in an angry whisper] You think I don't recognize an experiment when I see one? You experimented on us.
Sweets: Beg your pardon?
Brennan: Not telling me Booth was alive, you wanted to quantify our reactions for your own research. You took advantage of us. Booth and I agreed to let you observe us. We did not agree to be used as lab rats, so you better cut it out.
Sweets: Dr. Brennan, why are you talking so fast?
Brennan: Because if Booth hears why you did what you did, he'd beat you up.
Sweets: Don't you think that would be an overly aggressive act?
Brennan: Not at all. So you better not do it again.

Brennan: [imitating John Wayne] "Listen, cowboy. Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway."
Booth: What was that? The Duke? That was horrible. That was, like, Jerry Lewis.
Brennan: Was not.

Brennan: [knocks on Booth's apartment door] Booth? [knocks again] Are you there?
Booth: No, I'm in South Beach working on my tan. [opens door]
Brennan: You need Sweets to sign your post Afghanistan ready for duty report. Did you forget?
Booth: Me?
Brennan: Well, generally you wear more clothing, and you've been avoiding it for weeks.
Booth: Well, I couldn't sleep. Hannah got up at the crack of dawn. [cracks back]
Brennan: Do you always have this pronounced release of gas in the morning?
Booth: Is it that bad?
Brennan: Synovial gas. That's what the cracking is.
Booth: Synovial gas? What's that mean?
Brennan: Well, there comes a point where a body can't hide all the abuse it's taken.
Booth: What do you mean 'certain point'?
Brennan: Booth, you've been shot, beaten, and jumped out of airplanes. The skeletal damage alone --
Booth: Oh, God. I'm falling apart.
Brennan: You're fine. It's your skeleton that's falling apart.

Brennan: [lifts large boa constrictor from the back of a Jeep] I find it interesting that I'm only afraid of snakes when Booth is around to be jumped upon.

Brennan: [looking at the screen] What exactly am I supposed to be squinting at?
Booth: It's like pornography; you'll know it when you see it.

Brennan: [on the phone with Caroline, talking to Booth] Caroline is asking if we see anything?
Booth: The answer's still no and tell her to stop asking.
Brennan: [to Caroline] Booth says stop asking.
Caroline: I don't wait well, I'm an action person. Waiting makes my teeth hurt!
Brennan: [to Booth] Her teeth..hurt.

Brennan: [rising to leave, talking to Walter] Uh..can I get your cell number, please?
Walter: What? No! [panicking] Who..who told you to get my cellphone number?
Booth: Oh, oh...just relax, don't be paranoid.
Brennan: In case, I obtained any..helpful informations from the victim's remains back in D.C.
Ike: [chuckling] Wh-What exactly you'd expect to find from a cracked-up bag of old bones?
Booth: Oh look, Bones has her thing, just like Walter here, alright? [leaving with Brennan]
Brennan: Except my thing is real, not some imaginary finder power! [gesturing mockingly]
Booth: Oh! [laughs]

Brennan: [She walks up while Daisy and Cam are discussing the sculpture, and dumps a giant container of flesh-eating beetles onto it. They look at her with consternation.] I was going to say that I slipped, but I don't like to lie.
Cam: You dumped a bucket full of Dermestes beetles onto this work of art. They'll strip the flesh off our victim in no time.
Brennan: [nodding] Within 30 hours. Am I fired?
Cam: Au contraire. Remind me of this moment around Christmas bonus time.

Brennan: [To a group of nine-year-olds] So yours is a cultural structure predicated in the equation of beauty with power. You instinctively align yourselves with someone who holds the greatest potential for a societal supremacy. It's a Darwinian pressure you're too young to bear.

Brennan: [to Booth's brother Jared] It is nice to meet you, Jarhead. I can see the family resemblance. Your facial structure is even more symmetrical than Booth's.
Jared: [to Booth, aside] Is she coming on to me?
Booth: No, it's just the way she talks.

Brennan: [to Booth] You seem uncomfortable. Does his size make you self-conscious?
Booth: Bones.
Brennan: It's a condition: skeletal dysplasia. Pseudoachondroplasia or S.E.D. congenita?
Booth: Bones!
Brennan: What?
Radswell: Dr. Brennan, I can see that you're a straightforward person. And as much as I appreciate that quality, what you're asking me is neither your business nor relevant.
Brennan: But it is my business because I'm a forensic anthropologist. But you're right, it's not relevant.

Brennan: [to Dr. Goodman] Bones don't just disappear. I thought this was a secure facility. You assured me this was a secure facility. I could be working at Stanford, you know? This never would've happened at Stanford!
Goodman: We spend three-quarters of a million annually on security!
Brennan: Obviously that's not enough. [Booth comes in] I want my bones! Did you find my bones?
Booth: Ooh, maybe you just want to, you know, chill a little?
Brennan: Chill?
Booth: Yeah. You know, take a pill?
Brennan: Listen, dude, my lab was violated, my bones were stolen, so I think I'll remain warm for a little while longer.
Angela: Honey, maybe you should focus on your breathing.
Booth: Breathing.
Angela: Count to ten.
Booth: Count to ten.
Angela: Have a shot of Jack.
Booth: Shot of Jack.