Booth: Okay, yeah, I get it. You saw a whole lady's corpse when you were a little girl and you were fine.
Brennan: Yes. Although, for some reason that I do not understand, I kept staging my own death. Pretending that I drowned in the bathtub, faking electrical shock. It really freaked my parents out. And once, when Russ found me hanging, he had to go see the school psychologist.
Booth: [mildly sarcastic] But otherwise you were fine.
Brennan: [earnestly] Yeah.

Booth: Okay, you guys should do that even less than normal people.

Booth: Okay. You're not Dr. Brennan today. You're Temperance.
Brennan: I don't know what that means.
Booth: The scientist part of you got sidelined temporarily.
Brennan: I still don't know what that means.
Booth: Bones, just, take the brain, okay, put it in neutral. All right? Take the heart, pop it into overdrive. [makes engine noises and mimes driving a race car]
Brennan: [smiles] Sometimes I think you're from another planet. [laughs] And sometimes I think you're really very nice.

Booth: Parker had a nightmare.
Brennan: About severed fingers?
Booth: No, it was a singing frog.
Brennan: I don't see the connection. But then I'm one of those people that thinks when you dream about a banana, it's probably just a banana.

Booth: Randall Hall, he's behind this. Randall Hall, okay? He killed these two people. We know it, he did it. We just can't touch him and there's no evidence linking him to the drugs, the cash or either body except for a couple of damn bone dimples.
Brennan: I'll keep looking at the remains, maybe find the evidence we need.
Booth: I can't let it stand.
Brennan: What?
Booth: You know what? I'm going to spread the pain. All right, that's my new motto.
[Booth turns and leaves. Brennan chases behind him.]
Brennan: Wait, I can help spread pain. Wait!

Booth: Right now I'm worried about a safe distance between you and me.
Brennan: Why?
Booth: Why? Because we're going to a church, and you tend to get blasphemous in churches.
Brennan: You're afraid if God smites me with lightning you could get hit?
Booth: Yeah, I'm usually standing right beside you.
Brennan: The Greek god Zeus also used lightning to incinerate his enemies, although Zeus apparently had better aim than your god.
Booth: Exactly. Stuff like that. Just don't say stuff like that.

Booth: Run her through the database, get an ID.
Cam: Why don't you just ask him?
Booth: Well because the last time Bones saw Epps, it got violent.
Cam: You'll be there to protect her.
Booth: She's not the one who needs protecting. Bones broke his wrist
Brennan: He touched me with his creepy serial killer hands.
Cam: Better not take Dr. Brennan.

Booth: Scuse' Me, we're looking for Hunter Lang.
Captain: Err..he's one of our bartenders. Nadi, they're looking for Lang.
Nadi: Oh! [looks at Booth] Jealous husband?
Booth: [shows his badge] FBI
Nadi: Oh! Well, ca-can this wait? We'll be back by 10.
Booth: How about we come with you?
Nadi: [looks at Sweets] Only if he comes to. [points at Sweets, Booth and Brennan looks at Sweets]
Booth: That was the plan.
Nadi: Done!
Sweets: I'm sorry, what just happened there?
Brennan: If this was the Malukus, I would say it was some sort of virgin offering.
Sweets: Virgin?
Brennan: Quasi virgin offering.

Booth: She hated the guy. My guess is she got 10 G's stuffed in her mattress back in Trailerville.

Booth: So do you want the good news first or the bad news?
Brennan: Is the order at all relevant?
Booth: You know, people like to get the bad news first so the conversation ends in happiness.
Brennan: All right, then. What's the bad news?
Booth: Well, the court refuses to compel a DNA sample from Ericson based on what we have so far.
Brennan: [mobile phone rings] Do you mind? It's not work related.
Booth: Go right ahead.
Brennan: Brennan.
Booth: I'll be right here.
Brennan: [to person on the phone] For Valentine's Day?
Booth: Oh! A Valentine's date, huh?
Brennan: A secret service agent from my gym.
Booth: Of course.
Brennan: [laughs to person on the phone] No, it's not my mother. [to Booth] He thinks that you're my mother.
Booth: Look, I'm not her mother!
Brennan: [to person on the phone] Okay, I don't have a mother. Could I phone you back to tell you no? Thanks! [to Booth] All right, what's the good news so that we may end this conversation on a happy note.
Booth: Ericson has a son in prison for insider trading.
Brennan: Why is that good news? It seems the entire family is degenerate.
Booth: Bones, it's good news because it means the son's DNA is on file with CODIS.
Brennan: Right. So Cam can compare it to the sample from under the fingernails to see if there's sufficient alleles in common to match the dad.
Booth: See. Always start with the bad news first then go with the happy. Are you happy now?
Brennan: It's good news.
Booth: Are you happy?
Brennan: I'm happy!

Booth: So I decided to take you up on your offer.
Brennan: What offer?
Booth: You invited me to your house for Christmas dinner. You forgot you invited me.
Brennan: No, it's just -- no! My dad brought by my second cousin and I really didn't like her.
Booth: Well that makes sense.
Brennan: Why do you say that?
Booth: Because she's family. Ninety percent of the time, family just gets under your skin. That's the difference between family and friends.
Brennan: She's unapologetically dogmatic, she lives her entire life based on the quotations of Benjamin Franklin.
Booth: Maybe she feels the same way about you and your mania of logic.
Brennan: Mania?
Booth: Okay, enthusiasm.

Booth: So maybe the bomber got caught by his own explosion.
Brennan: Her own explosion.
Booth: Wait -- the bomber was a female?
Brennan: Sciatic arch. Doesn't lie.
Cam: Neither does the vagina.

Booth: So this girl, she had this game where she would ask me a question -
Brennan: What kind of question?
Booth: It doesn't matter, okay? So if I got the question wrong, I'd have to take off a piece of my clothing. So of course I knew all the answers, but I pretended that I didn't.
Brennan: So you could take off your clothes.
Booth: Exactly. Now, my point is, I'm standing there, you know, in my socks and my St. Christopher medal, and she runs off. She runs off with the sleeping bag and all my clothes and I'm standing there starko.
Brennan: Well, why would she do that?
Booth: Well, I suppose she heard I was under the bleachers with another girl the week before.
Brennan: Okay. This is a story about sexual prowess, Booth. You're bragging!
Booth: [laughs] I had to run across the campus buck naked!
Brennan: You're laughing about it now! You enjoyed displaying your penis. It showed alpha male mastery.

Booth: So we're going with the theory that this was once human?
Brennen: I've never read about an alien encounter in which the aliens wore loafers.
Booth: How much do you want to bet Hodgins has?

Booth: So, is it him?
Brennan: It's him. But here's the kickster--
Booth: Kicker, Bones. Here's the kicker.
Brennan: Oh.