Arrested Development quotes

177 total quotes



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Lindsay: No, you're not going to that. You see, if I show up with you, it'll just make me seem like I'm a mother.
Maeby: I've never thought of you that way.
Lindsay: That's sweet.

Lindsay: Oh, God. Not that "I'm in love with my mother" dance thing. I'm so glad there wasn't one of those for daddies and daughters.
Lucille: Of course they have father-daughter dances.
Lindsay: They do? He never took me?
Lucille: It was before we did your nose. Toodle-oo.

Lindsay: Oh, hi, Mom. I have the afternoon free.
Lucille: Really? Did "nothing" cancel?

Lindsay: That's the first time we were in the shower since our honeymoon.
Tobias: And this time, no tears!

Lindsay: Well Gob doesn't do anything for the family...
Gob: Hey... I'm [bleep]ing Lucille 2!
Lindsay: Oh! I could do something like that...

Lindsay: What did he say? Tell me the last thing he said.
Tobias: [in flashback] I'm afraid I just blue myself.
Michael: He said some wonderful things.

Lucille: Get me a vodka rocks.
Michael: Mom, it's breakfast.
Lucille: And a piece of toast.

Lucille: I want you out of the house.
Oscar: Oh, I want you everywhere.

Lucille: It's not fair to Buster. He's a nervous wreck right now. He's going into the Army, for God's sake.
Michael: You volunteered him.
Lucille: I knew you were going to throw that in my face.

Lucille: My baby is sick, but Mother is here to nurse you.
Michael: Well, now I'm a little sicker.

Lucille: Oh, please. I've been drinking since before you were born. So if alcohol's the reason I'm here, I got news for you, bub. It's the only reason you're here, too.
Michael: Hey, look at that. You're mean sober, too.

Lucille: She'd love to get at me any way she could. That's why she's been flirting with Gob. She's trying to prove that she's closer to my children than I am, but the joke's on her, because she doesn't know how little I care for Gob.
Michael: I think that makes the joke on Gob.

Lucille: What are you doing home?
Buster: Army had half a day.

Maeby: Is there any way I can divorce them?
Barry: Oh, sure. It's called emancipation. But you've got to prove that you're living in an unstable environment.
Maeby: Both my parents are trying to have affairs. Of course, they haven't succeeded yet.

Michael [to Buster]: Maybe it's time you got out there and started meeting people. You know? Meeting women. Meeting women who didn't give birth to you.