Archer quotes
339 total quotesArcher: Wow, what a pussy. I could barely even keep up, he was spilling the beans so fast.
Lana: Well, you threatened to shove a knife up his dick hole. Which, again, ick.
Archer: Well excuse me, Lana. It's a rampage.
Lana: Well, you threatened to shove a knife up his dick hole. Which, again, ick.
Archer: Well excuse me, Lana. It's a rampage.
Archer: You got a potato?
Malory: What is this? Christmas? And is Krieger...hard at work?
Archer: He literally might be, yes.
Lana: Ew.
Malory: What is this? Christmas? And is Krieger...hard at work?
Archer: He literally might be, yes.
Lana: Ew.
Archer: You just destroyed my innocence!
Mallory: Oh, please! That Brazilian au pair did that when you were 13.
Archer: 12!
Mallory: Oh, please! That Brazilian au pair did that when you were 13.
Archer: 12!
Archer: You realise you're in huge trouble?
Woodhouse: Yes, sir.
Archer: And now I have to spend my first Friday off in forever devising some bizzare punishment for you?
Woodhouse: Yes, sir.
Archer: So don't be surprised if you end up eating a whole bunch of... spiderwebs.
Woodhouse: Yes, sir.
Archer: And now I have to spend my first Friday off in forever devising some bizzare punishment for you?
Woodhouse: Yes, sir.
Archer: So don't be surprised if you end up eating a whole bunch of... spiderwebs.
Archer: You said no dates.
Malory: I said no such thing.
Archer: Well, your mouth did.
Malory: Well, your mouth better get over there and make Torvald happy!
Archer: Um, phrasing?
Malory: I said no such thing.
Archer: Well, your mouth did.
Malory: Well, your mouth better get over there and make Torvald happy!
Archer: Um, phrasing?
Archer: You want me to take a baby to a murder?
Malory: Wherever, just out of here. I have no more love left to give today.
Archer: Yeah and what is it? Two-Thirty?
Malory: Wherever, just out of here. I have no more love left to give today.
Archer: Yeah and what is it? Two-Thirty?
Barry: According to ODIN's guy in the KGB. Which, as a real agency, we have.
Malory: We've got guys in the KGB too, smarty.
Barry: Yeah. So i hear.
Malory: How did... Pam!
Pam: [From outside office] I'm still not eavesdropping!
Malory: We've got guys in the KGB too, smarty.
Barry: Yeah. So i hear.
Malory: How did... Pam!
Pam: [From outside office] I'm still not eavesdropping!
Barry: ...So don't try to do anything stupid.
Archer: I don't have to try [pause] Shit, whatever. Move. [walks away]
Archer: I don't have to try [pause] Shit, whatever. Move. [walks away]
Barry: What part of "I'm a cyborg" are you people still not getting?
Archer: The core concept, I guess.
Archer: The core concept, I guess.
Benoit: I can't see, you fool; get off!
Archer: I am getting off, I love this.
Archer: I am getting off, I love this.
Benoit: Impossible, madam: all my bellhops have been taken prisoner by the Wehrmacht.
Bucky: You will never make it to the helicopter. My men will cut you down like dogs!
Archer: Thanks, Human Shield.
Archer: Thanks, Human Shield.