[Angel has been run through with a large sword by Spike; there's a creepy demon bug on his back, dangling from where the sword exits his body]
Spike: Fuss, fuss. The thing was about to strike. It was on your back. What was I supposed to do?
Angel: Ask me to turn around.
Spike: Heat of battle. There wasn't time.
Angel: You just like stabbing me.
Spike: I--I'm shocked-- shocked that you'd say that. I much prefer hitting you with blunt instruments.

[Angel has bought tickets to a ballet instead of a rock concert.]
Gunn: No, this is not Mata Hari. This is tutus and guys with their big-ass packages jumping up and down! This is just -- I will never trust you again. The trust is gone.
Cordelia: Oh, get over it. Do we get dressed up?
Angel: Of course.
Cordelia: I'm in.
Angel: Guys, seeing the ballet live, it's... it's like another world. Gunn, these guys are tight, and you're going to be tripping out.
Gunn: Don't be using my own phrases when we've lost the trust.

[Angel has brought a terminally ill Darla to the Hyperion Hotel]
Cordelia: [to Darla] First up, you're a prisoner.
Wesley: I'd have to concur with that, yes.
Cordelia: See, you've got our friend all in knots.
Wesley: Can't say we like you much.
Cordelia: So, sorry about the dying, but if you try to escape, we will hit you.
Wesley: On the head.
Cordelia: With very large and heavy objects. Okay?

[Angel has just bought some mini-Hockey sticks for him and Connor to use when Connor is older]
Angel: Hockey is just a great sport, greatest sport known to man!
Gunn: Dude, Hockey is the WHITEST sport known to man.
Angel: That's as may be, but the games are indoors and usually at night.
Gunn: Oh perfect for you then.
[Wesley asks Angel something to which Angel responds whilst Gunn dribbles the Puck about a bit then shoots at the gap under the weapons cabinet]
Gunn: He shoots...HE SCORES!
Angel: Yeah with no defender...
[Angel and Gunn start having a mini-game, where Angel robs Gunn of the puck, shoots and badly misses, breaking the window]
Angel (embarassed): Yeah well...they're not even regulation size...

[Angel has just finished off a tentacled monstrosity in the sewer.]
Angel: Make sure you cut off all the limbs and both heads this time. Remember to bury the parts separately. [tosses sword to Doyle] I don't want this thing coming back to life again.
Cordelia: That's it?
Angel: I'm gonna go clean out the nest. I'll see you back at the office. [he leaves]
Cordelia: Okay, am I wrong in thinking that a "please" and "thank you" is generally considered good form when requesting a dismemberment?
Doyle: He appreciates us, in his own... unappreciative way.

[Angel has just fired Cordelia, Gunn and Wesley]
Cordelia: What just happened? Can someone explain to me what just happened here?
Wesley: I believe we were fired.
Gunn: Canned.
Wesley: Let go.
Gunn: Axed.
Wesley: Shown the door.
Gunn: Booted.
Cordelia: All right! I get it. But... what just... happened?

[Angel has just saved Rachel from a violently abusive boyfriend, while Spike watches -- and narrates -- from the rooftop.]
Spike [as Rachel, falsetto]: How can I thank you, you mysterious, black-clad, hunk of a night thing?
Spike [as Angel, basso]: No need, little lady, your tears of gratitude are enough for me. You see, I was once a bad-ass vampire, but love and a pesky curse defanged me. Now I'm just a big, fluffy puppy with bad teeth. [Rachel sways closer to Angel; he steps back, warding her off with his hands.] No, not the hair! Never the hair!
Spike [as Rachel]: But there must be some way I can show my appreciation.
Spike [as Angel]: No, helping those in need's my job. And working up a load of sexual tension and prancing away like a magnificent poof is truly thanks enough!
Spike [as Rachel]: I understand. I have a nephew who's gay, so...
Spike [as Angel]: Ah. Say no more. Evil's still afoot ... and I'm almost out of that nancy-boy hair gel that I like so much. Quickly! To the Angelmobile -- AWAY! [Rachel and Angel leave. Spike lights a cigarette.]
Spike [as Spike]: Go on, Liam. Play the big, strapping hero while you can. You have a few surprises coming your way--the Ring of Amarra, a visit from your old pal Spike, and--oh, yeah--your gruesome, horrible death.

[Angel has reluctantly agreed to release Angelus]
Angel: We're gonna need a cage.
Lorne: Cage?
Angel: A strong one. About ten-by-twelve, steel reinforced. Two inch bars, maybe three. I'll make some calls.
Gunn: What, he thinks something like that's going to hold the Beast?
Wesley: It's not for the Beast. It's for him.

[Angel interviews Barney in his office.]
Barney: You know, I just noticed it's 3:45 in the afternoon. If you're a vampire, why aren't you in your coffin?
Angel: Coffin. I hate that stereotype. You're a demon and you don't know anything about vampires?
Barney: Only what I learned from TV.
Angel: Vampires don't sleep in coffins. It's a misconception made popular by hack writers and ignorant media. [stands] In fact, you know, we can and do move around during the day, as long as we avoid direct sunlight. Got it?!
Barney: Gotten. Sorry. Didn't want to push any sore spots.

[Angel is dreaming that the team are celebrating for Spike.]
Spike: Well, this is... Thank you, everyone. I don't know what to say. I'm just a working-class bloke fulfilling his destiny. It was nothing, really.
Fred: Nothing? Spike, you single-handedly ended Armageddon and turned the world into a beautiful, happily-ever-after-candy-mountain place where all our dreams come true.
[The world is shown as looking like a fairytale.]
Spike: Beautiful, isn't it?
Gunn: The living end. And now it's time for your reward.
Wesley: Yes, your reward!
Spike: But I didn't do this for a reward.
Gunn: Well, that's why you're getting one.
[The Blue Fairy enters the room.]
Wesley: After all, anyone who saves the universe from eternal bloodshed, horror, and misery deserves to get what they've always wanted.
Fred: Deserves to become a real boy.
Fairy: And so you shall. [waves her wand over Spike]
Spike: My heart. It's... it's beating again! Listen.
Fred: [puts her ear to his chest] You're human, Spike. You're alive!
Gunn: Ooh, I wanna hear!
Wesley: Let's hear it for Spike!
[The staff shout "Hip Hip Hooray" for Spike as Angel walks away sadly, pushing a mail cart.]

[Angel is fighting Lindsey, currently hand-to-hand]
Angel: All those tattoos.
[Ducks under a punch from Lindsey]
Angel: All those new tricks you've learned.
[Dodges another punch]
Angel: They just don't matter.
[Blocks Lindsey's next punch]
Angel: Doesn't matter what you try...
[Another punch is blocked]
Angel: Or where I am...
[Another blow is blocked]
Angel: Or how bad-ass you think you've become, because you know what?
[Grabs Lindsey by the throat and holds him up close to his face]
Angel: I'm Angel.
[Throws Lindsey away dismissively]
Angel: I beat the bad guys.

[Angel is preparing to have his soul removed]
Angel: Connor, I know you like to think of me as the enemy. If this works, I will be. I'm going to become the one thing you were raised to believe I was. The thing I never, ever, wanted you to see.

[Angel is pushing Darla in a wheelchair through the hospital while she is having contractions]
Angel: How you feeling?
Darla:[irritated] I haven't had blood in almost a day and your devil spawn is trying to rip its way out of my body. How you think I'm doing?

[Angel is roused from bed by someone belting out "The Star-Spangled Banner".]
Angel: Is there a reason you're here?
the Host : There is. What's today, Thursday? Tomorrow night the world's gonna end. Thought you might wanna know.

[Angel is still held motionless by the metal grips while Holts admires one of Angel's swords.]
Angel: You're still human. How'd you manage this?
[Holtz puts the sword back into the weapons cabinet.]
Holtz: So, the question becomes, now that I have you, what's the best way to get her?
Angel: Only dark magic could have brought you this far.
Holtz: She was always the trick, you know, not you. Darla was the unpredictable one.
Angel: Was it a demon? Or something else?
[Holtz points a stake at Angel's chest.]
Holtz: What if I just kill you now? Would she somehow sense it? Would she then come running? [Walks away from Angel] Would that bring her bursting through those doors, I wonder?
Angel: Did something come to you, or did you seek it out?
Holtz: She might show herself in the service of revenge. It can be a powerful motivator.
Angel: Yes, it can. What did you have to give up for this second chance?
Holtz: Give up? [Turns to face Angel] I had nothing to give up. You saw to that.
Angel: We took a lot from you, that's true. But we didn't get everything. We couldn't take your soul.
Holtz: What do you know of a soul?
Angel: I know yours will be destroyed if you allow yourself to be used in the service of evil. You're a good man, Holtz. A righteous man. And you're being used for some purpose other than justice.
Holtz: Could it be you really have changed? I don't remember you ever pleading so cravenly before.
Angel: And I remember you used to work with men.
[Holtz hits Angel hard across the face.]