Gunn: (preparing for the assault) What are you doing?
Wesley: Trying to imagine myself as John Wayne in Rio Bravo. You?
Gunn: Austin Stoker. Assault on Precinct 13. (they high five)
Cordelia: If we live through this, trade in the DVD players and get a life.

Gunn: (to Angel) Well, congratulations. You're gonna have a grandspawn.

Gunn: [playing a video game] Dead! So dead! So very, very dead. Just how dead are you, huh?
Angel: I'm tired of being the dead one.

Gunn: [researching from a book] Got it. The dark soul.
Angel: What's it say?
Gunn: A lot. There are over 3,200 different references. Four of them are about you.
Angel: What? Give me that.
Wes: This is getting us nowhere.
Angel: Let me see this. [reading] Well, that's not fair. I didn't even have a soul when I did that.

Gunn: [singing] Three little maids who, all unwary,/ Come from a ladies' seminary,/ Freed from its genius tutelary--/ Three little maids from school!/ Three little maids --
[Gunn notices Wesley is at his door.]
Gunn: [rapping] ...and ya don't stop with all the ladies in the... gangsta but ... go [spoken] What's up?
Wesley: I should ask you. You seem unutterably cheery.
Gunn: I am. I am. Look...I gotta be straight with you, 'cause this is kinda blowin' my mind.
Wesley: Tell me.
Gunn: Fred and I are gettin' back together. [Wesley's smile melts] She was so keyed up from last night's fight, she asked me over. We ended up talkin' for hours, like old times. Then, all of a sud...I can't even keep this up, 'cause your face is gonna make me weep. Wes, I am so messin' with you.

Gunn: All right, here's the plan. I want y'all to roll the camera and wait for the cops to start hassling us.
Anne: How do you know they will?
Gunn: 'Cause we'll be the ones walking while black!

Gunn: Couldn't have been easy for you seeing Lilah again like that.
Wesley: Oh, yes. That was awkward, wasn't it? When you decapitate a loved one, you don't expect them to come visiting.

Gunn: Couple weeks ago, he was wearin' diapers. Now he's a teenager?
Cordelia: Tell me we don't live in a soap opera.

Gunn: Five herb shops in Chinatown; we've been to four. How come whatever we're searching for is always in the last place we look?
Wesley: I suppose it's one of the unwritten laws of being a dick. Uh, um, sleuth, a gumshoe, Sherlock.
Gunn: All I know is you use the word dick again, and we're gonna have a problem. So what's the name of this place anyway?
Wesley: Van Hoa Dong.

Gunn: Hey, I got a rep to maintain, all right? I can't have y'all seeing through my brusque and macho exterior.
Cordelia: Oh, heavens forbid!

Gunn: Hey.
Wesley: Gunn. First day back?
Gunn: Yeah.
[Wesley grabs another book from a cabinet, rushes back to his desk before pausing to address Gunn.]
Wesley: I stabbed you. I should apologize for that. But I'm honestly not sure how. I think it'll just be awkward.
Gunn: Good call.
Wesley: OK.
Gunn: I ain't lookin' for a sorry. Don't know if I'd accept it. Besides, I just got my heart cut out of my chest every day for 2 weeks straight. Compared to what? A little jab in the gut? Kinda over it.

Gunn: Hmm, Angel and a bunch of monks in the middle of nowhere. There's a party. He should have got hammered and gone to Vegas like I told him.
Wesley: He doesn't need a lap dance, he needs some peace and quiet to work through this.

Gunn: How come you do it? How come you're out here?
Angel: What else are we gonna do? I'll be around.
Gunn: I don't need no help.
Angel: I might.

Gunn: I saw you in bed.
Cordelia: What?
Wesley: I can see that this is none of my business.
Gunn: You too.
Wesley: Now wait just a moment.
Gunn: At the hospital. After Angel's building blew, he sent me there to keep an eye on you.

Gunn: I wanna know how he does it. No last name, no bank account. How are you ordering stuff off the web?
Fred: It's not that hard, really. All you have to do is hack into the shipping database, find someone who is ordering what you want, then substitute your information. Except that would just be high-tech robbery.
Angel: I memorized Cordelia's credit card numbers.
Fred: Oh. Low-tech robbery.