Fred: [about the cyborg] This thing really blurs the line between human and robot.
Spike: Aha. So you're not ruling out that a human being could have boffed a robot.
[everyone stares at him]
Spike: Sex with robots is more common than most people think.

Fred: [dying in his arms] Wesley, why can't I stay?

Fred: [slurring, as a demon bumps into her.] Hey, you want a piece of me, buddy? That's right, keep walking. You walk alone! You walk alone!
Wesley: Careful, that thing's loaded.
Fred: So am I. I mean, wow. Wes. Wesley, [puts her arms around Wesley's neck] I am totally drunk-faced!
Wesley: Because you can't hold your.. What are you drinking?
Fred: Nothing.
Wesley: You can't hold that.
Fred: Oh, yeah? Lightweight? How much have you had?
Wesley: [holds up a beer bottle] Including this, I've had... about 1/3 of a half of this beer.
Fred: That's weird, right?
Wesley: Yes, I think so. I think that's weird.
Fred: There's Gunn. Let's go ask him if that's weird.
[Fred and Wesley walk up to Gunn, who's facing away from them.]
Wesley: Hey. Hey, Gunn. Is something weird going on? [Gunn turns toward Wesley without moving his hands, which are together just below his waist] Charles, you just peed on my shoes.
Gunn: [looks down, confused] I'll be damned. [zips his zipper] That's weird.

Fred: Bad things always happen here.

Fred: Don't forget your machete.
Gunn: Yes, dear.
The Groosalugg: He is very fortunate to have such a woman looking after his weapon.
Lorne: [chuckling] I'm not touchin' that one.

Fred: I came out of my room. Small steps, just like you said.
Angel: Go to your room and stay there!
Fred: Okay.

Fred: I let Angelus walk with Lilah's book and everything Wolfram and Hart suckered out of your brain.
Lorne: I was gonna have those framed.

Fred: I'm also detecting brainwave activity.
Angel: On Spike? Hmm. That *is* weird.

Fred: I'm between Ed Whitten and Brian Greene!
[Angel and Gunn look bemused]
Fred: Think Nomar Garciaparra and Sammy Sosa.
[Gunn whistles]
Angel: Looks like Fred skipped the Minors and went straight to the show...

Fred: I'm gonna study, mom. I'm gonna learn every damn thing they know up there, and then figure out some stuff they don't. And I'll be careful. I'll even be dull, boring. Cross my heart.
[cut to Fred menacingly screaming and burning demons with a flame-thrower]

Fred: Is that why you ran out while Cordelia was singing?
Lorne: Well, "A", I wasn't running, I was fleeing. And, "B", yes.
Gunn: Well, how horrible is this thing?
Lorne: Well, I haven't read the Book of Revelations lately, but, if I was searching for adjectives, I'd probably start there.

Fred: Kind of cool, physiologically. They reproduce by vomiting up crystals that attract and mutate the microbes around them to form eggs.
Wesley: Are you trying to turn me on?

Fred: Listen to you. You're blaming yourself because poor Fred got hurt. Stop trying to be all valiant. You're coming off like a self-pitying child.
Wesley: [staring past Fred] Hello, father.
Fred: Oh, yeah, that's mature. Well, I wish I was your father. I'd tell you to grow up.
Roger Wyndam-Price: It doesn't work. I've tried.

Fred: Looks like we've been following Angel's son's emissions the whole time!
Gunn: Now there's a sentence I don't ever need to hear again.
Fred: But this is good, right? It means there was no big scary that came out of the portal...
(Sees Holtz)
Gunn: How 'bout a short scary?

Fred: Marissa, stop. We just wanna talk.
Marissa: I don't know anything.
Gunn: You psychic?
Marissa: No.
Gunn: Then shut up and let us ask the question first.