Darla: What the hell do you think you're doing?
Angel: Saving you.
Darla: I wasn't in any danger, Angelus. Believe me, I picked a stupid one. I always pick the stupid ones, didn't you know that? I can take care of myself.
Angel: I didn't mean from him. I was saving you from yourself.
Darla: Who asked you?
Angel: This isn't the answer.
Darla: You don't even know what the question is. Why can't you leave me alone?
[She tries to walk past him but he stops her, leaning close into her face.]
Angel: You do this thing and I won't be able to leave you alone, don't you get that? I'll never be able to leave you alone. [Holds up the stake] Next time it'll be you on the end of this stake. I'm sorry, but I don't want that, not again.
Darla: Don't worry. I wouldn't let it happen twice.
Angel: Where are you going?
Darla: Not back in there, everyone saw me leave with the Mullet. Try something on the westside, I guess.
Angel: Another dive, another loser?
Darla: What do you care?
Angel: This isn't you, Darla.
Darla: You know, just because we had a thing for 150 years, don't presume you know me!
[Angel can't understand why Darla wants so badly to become a vampire again.]
Angel: So, you really want to be made by some creep in a filthy alley.
Darla: I wanted you to do it.
Angel: That'll never happen.
Darla: So I do what I have to do. Anyway, you were made in an alley, if I recall.
Angel: That's not the point.
Darla: Yeah, what is the point, Angelus?
Angel: The point is, you were undead for four hundred years. You've only been human again for a few months. Why not give it some time?
Darla: I don't have time.
Angel: You do. You've been given a second chance. Don't throw that away before you have the opportunity ...
Darla: I'm dying.
Angel: ... ... What?
Darla: Yeah. And not 'sometime.' Not 'later.' Now. Right now. They showed me the medical files. All the tests say the same thing. I've got about two months, three at the most, so if you'll excuse me, I'm in sort of a hurry.

Darla: Where have you been?
Angel: Darla.
Darla: Answer me!
Angel: Just out. Why?
Darla: Feeding?
Angel: Yeah.
Darla: On vermin?
Angel: No.
Darla: Don't lie to me.
Angel: Look I've killed men. You've seen it!
Darla: Rapists and murderers, thieves and scoundrels. Did you think I wouldn't notice? Only evildoers, that's all you hunt now. You swore to me. You said, if I took you back you'd prove yourself.
Angel: And I will.
Darla: Good. [Pulls the blanket of a basket sitting between them, revealing the missionaries' baby] Now is your chance.
[Angel looks down at the baby, shifts restlessly.]
Darla: I went back before dawn. They were still cowering there. Praying to their god for a salvation. They didn't know that their only savior was at the waterfront dining on rats. I won't be made a fool, Angelus. Not by you. Not by anyone.
Angel: I didn't mean...
Darla: While Spike - Spike - was out killing a Slayer you were saving missionaries! From me!
Angel: I'm sorry...
Darla: No. No more words. [She takes a step back and Angel looks down at the baby] Act!

Darla: You're a difficult man to find, señor. Do you know why I'm here? You are my last hope. I've been told you're very powerful, very wise. I've tried everything and I can't get rid of it. So, I ask you: What is this thing growing inside of me, and how is it possible?
Shaman: The Father is also a...?
Darla: Vampire? Yes. Though not a very good one.
Shaman: I will need some blood.
Darla: Well... I'll show you mine if you show me yours.
[The Shaman pauses]
Darla: Men are such babies.
[Darla cuts her hands.]
Shaman: This has never failed me.
[The Shaman places his hands on Darla's belly and has a major reaction.]
Shaman: I cannot help you. No man can. This is not meant to be known.
Darla: Yeah, yeah. Like I haven't heard that before. Well, I guess there's only one thing left to do. Time to go visit Daddy.

David Nabbit: Are you familiar with Dungeons & Dragons?
Angel: Yeah. I've seen a few.
Wesley: You mean the, uh, role-playing game.
Angel: Oh. Game. Right.

Demon Butler: OK. No more games!
[He pulls out a gun and aims it at the bag and everyone stops fighting, but then Angel elbows a man behind him, getting in one final blow.]
Demon Butler: One more step, and the head gets it, hey? We are not animals. We are italiano. You give us the money, we give you the head.
[Angel and Spike don't move; they just stare]
Demon Butler: You give us the money, we give you the head.
[Angel and Spike stare]
Demon Butler: The money, the head. The money...
Angel: Yeah. We get it. [hits Spike] Money.
[Spike gets the money and walks toward the demon. He holds out the money, but pulls it back.]]
Spike: Hey!
[They switch bags at the same time.]
Demon Butler: Arrivederci, americanos. It was a pleasure to do the business with you.
[Demon Butler chuckles; he and his men leave]

Demon Butler: You must be so lonely. Your girlfriend has become lovers with The Immortal. How unfortunate for you. And how fortunate for her.
Angel: You know The Immortal?
Demon Butler: But of course.
Angel: Ha! I knew it. None of this is a coincidence.
Spike: Been his plan all along. Steal our head, keep us busy, and traipse off with my girl. [Angel gives him a look] Our girl.
Angel: It's a setup. You're just his lackey.
Demon Butler: I should be so lucky. The Immortal does not need men like me to do his business. He is a wild card, a wolf removed from the pack, a stallion without, uh, the bridle.
Spike: What, are you in love with him?
Demon Butler: No, no, no, no. Well, OK, yes. But if anything, he's more of a, uh, inspiration, a spiritual guide. Have you read his book? Is a life changer.
Angel: [whispers to Spike] I'm gettin' a little tired of Italy.
Spike: Know what you mean.

Demon: Look, I'm telling ya, I don't know nothing. On my mother's tumor.
[Notices another demon sneaking up behind Wesley and Faith, intending to attack them; then cockily.]
Demon:And even if I did, I'd never yak to a couple of fleshbags that are about to get their internal organs sucked out of their
[Without looking Wesley shoots behind him with the shotgun, nailing the would-be attacker in the face.]
Wesley: Strom demon. Face should grow back. [Cocks the shotgun] Eventually.
Faith: Think yours will?
Demon: Oh, that Angelus. Yeah, in here all the time running his mouth. "Look at me, I'm so evil." Real jackass. Never liked him. I'm on your side.

Doctor Rabinaw: A lawyer? I already told the police everything I know.
Angel: Well, let's go over it again, just in case you left out any details.
Spike: What he said. But with a bit more of a threat at the end.

Doctor: [after Angel storms into a vision-delirious Cordelia's hospital room] You can't be in here! ...Are you family?
Angel: [pushes her aside] Yes!

Doctor: I'm happy to report you have a healthy baby boy.
Cordelia: Oh, great. But I'm not the mother.
Doctor: Oh, I'm sorry. (turns to Fred) I'm happy to report you have a healthy baby boy.
Fred: Oh. Me neither.
Wesley: I'm afraid the mother is, ah, no longer in the picture.
Doctor: I see. Well, his height and weight are in the ninetieth percentile. We gave him his vitamin K and his PKU and he's doing very well. We don't seem to have his - what's his name?
Angel: (arriving) Connor. His name is Connor.
Doctor: Connor. Thank you. Mr. (looks at the papers) Angel. And congratulations.
Angel: Thanks.

Doyle: (On Angel's home) Well I like the place. Not much with the view, but it has a certain Batcave air to it.

Doyle: [while Angel and Buffy are talking] Where are we going?
Cordelia: They'll be at this for a while. We still have time for a cappuccino and probably the director's cut of the Titanic.

Doyle: Angel, man. You've gotta snap out of this!
Cordy: Right now. It's time for you to get all vampy. Grrrr. Kate needs you.
Angel: Uh uh, I don't want to. You both withdraw when I go vamp. I feel you judge me.
Cordy: We won't judge you! Will we? [Doyle concurs] ... Give it a try.
Angel: [shakes head] Closeness is too important to me now.

Doyle: I'm still going to go celebrate with a drink down in the pub.
Cordelia: He'd celebrate the opening of a mailbox with a drink down in the pub.

Doyle: It's about showing people there's still love and hope in the world.
Homeless Woman: Spare change?
Doyle: Get a job, you lazy sow.