Paul: What's it called when you're damned it you do, damned if you don't? Fatherhood.

Paul:Is my little girl a cheerleader?
Cate is motioning to him to shut up

Rory: Can I sit in the cart?
Cate: No!

Rory:This isn't the home of the Big Boy.
Paul:You know, in a way it is.

[Bridget walks downstairs dressed in tight pants and a short shirt]
Paul: Uh, Bridget, why are you dressed like that?
Kerry: Must be casual sex day at school.
Bridget: Hey, at least I get...
[Paul turns to Bridget]
Bridget: ...look good.
Paul: Okay, Cupcake, I think you missed the word "under" in underwear because I can see your bra and that slingshot your wearing under your pants.
Bridget: It's a thong.
Paul: It's floss.
Bridget: I can't wear anything else. Panty lines - Hello?
Paul: Panty lines - Hello, are fine. Actually they were a pretty big deal in my day.
Bridget: Well, we're the thong generation.
Paul: Well, maybe that's why your generation is so angry. You're walking around with a wedgie.