Shawn: You two are officially my least favorite tag team of all time!
Clive: Really? With Iron Sheik and Nikolai Volkoff on the table?
Shawn: Wow! You just made that reference!

Shawn: You wanna be hawk-eye or crow's nest?

Shawn: You're mad.
Gus: I'm not mad; I'm happy, I'm thrilled. I love looking like an idiot.
Shawn: That explains your shoes.

Shawn: Your negativity... is clogging up my psychic signals. Do you mind keeping [the incredibly flirty receptionist Tanya] busy while I attempt to unclog them?
Juliet: And how am I supposed to do that?
Shawn: Gus would turn into Smooth Gus and try to pick her up.
Juliet: I am not hitting on a girl!
Shawn: Why, does that scare you? Or does that not scare you...? And does that scare you?

Shawn: Zippy the dinosaur! Discovered by paleoslueth Shawn Spencer! Psych

Shawn:[while making something in an Easy Bake Oven] That depends. Are you a fan of delicious flavor?

Tommy: Is this you ride? [Henry's pick up truck] Seriously?
Shawn: She may look like hell, she may sound like hell, she may run like, she may smell like hell...
Gus: Shawn...
Shawn: But she is fast as HELL.

Tony Cox: Wait for iiiitttt!

Tony: Because that's what they do!
June: Who's they???
Tony: Them!

Vick: [to Shawn] And you... Okay, where is Mr. Guster?
Shawn: Chief, I'm afraid that what we may be dealing with is an, um, I.B.S. situation. I don't know if you've seen the commercials.
Vick: I've seen the commercials.
Shawn: Well, then you know it can be spotty--
Vick: [interrupting] Oh God, please, stop talking!

Vick: Let me be frank.
Shawn: As long as I can be Dean and Gus can be Sammy.
Gus: Why do I always have to be Sammy?
Shawn: Fine, he's Sammy. That makes you Joey Bishop. Is that what you really want? You want to be Joey Bishop?
Juliet: SHAWN!
Shawn: Jules, how often does someone set you up with "Let me be Frank"?
Juliet: Shawn, don't forget that you are in a lot of trouble here and I am probably the only person in this room who cares to see you get out of it. Now it's 2:30 in the morning; we've been here for hours. Enough with the jokes; stop delaying and tell us what we want to hear!
Shawn: [turns to Gus stunned] Oh my God, that was so hot.

Vick: My water just broke.
Lassiter: Are you sure?
Vick: No, Carlton, there's water spilling out of me for some other reason!
Lassiter: Oh no... Oh, can you move my briefcase?

Vick: Now, Mr. Spencer.
Henry/Shawn: [together] Yes?
Vick: Oh, I meant the older... Sorry, not old... less...
Shawn: Handsome? Less hair? Less friends on Facebook?
Henry: Less nose...

Vick: What I have to say is very... Difficult.
Shawn: If this in anyway pertains to Lassiter's third testicle, I'm afraid we already know.
Vick: Mr. Spencer this is no time for jokes.
Shawn: [checks watch]

Vick: Who gave you access to the file room?
Shawn: Irrelevant! And, immaterial.
Lassiter: Chief, you're not going to let him do that thing where he only uses courtroom jargon, are you?
Vick: Mr. Spencer...
Shawn: He's making a mockery of these proceedings! All I'm saying is that she's making a very compelling argument.
Morgan Conrad: You're an idiot.
Shawn: That's less compelling. Move to strike.
Morgan Conrad: Please remove him.
Lassiter: Gladly.
Shawn: Sidebar, Ms. Conrad.