Saleem Ulman: [to a hostage Ziva] Tell me everything you know about NCIS.
Season 7

Saleem Ulman: [leads a hooded figured into the interrogation room, sitting them in a chair] Questions are being asked in town about missing NCIS agents. I am concerned that US forces might be mobilized. One of you will tell me the identities and locations of the operatives in the area, and the other will die. [removes hood, revealing Ziva] I will give you a moment to decide who lives. [leaves the room]
Tony: [smiles painfully at Ziva] So... how was your summer?

Security Officer: [speaking into his radio] Central? Got two suspects claiming to be Feds.
Tony: [glances at the radio] No little red light on the radio means the radio not working.

Shannon: Just think of all the cases, all of the lives you've touched, Gibbs. You sacrificed everything to help those people.
Gibbs: But I wanted both.
Shannon: It doesn't work like that.

Shepard: Any idea where he's going?
Tony: No.
Shepard: Hazard a guess?
Tony: Well, he took his badge and his gun, maybe he's going to shoot someone.

Shepard: Before you go, Fornell, there is one thing...
Gibbs: Come with me Tobias, I want to show you something.
Fornell: You've got that moustache in a box, don't you?

Sheriff Boyd: You know, you might want to let go of that horn, junior. Riding a horse is like making love, you got to relax and enjoy it.
Tony: Sheriff, I have a strong feeling that you and I enjoy both of those activities in really different ways. No disrespect.

Szwed: All right. She's a triple digit ride, big old pumpkins in there, but don't get tempted. We gotta get on the big slab and you stay to the granny lane and you keep it under the double nickel, even while you're runnin' deadhead. And bird dog on the dash so you don't get shot in the back by bears, you got it?
Werth: 10-4.
Szwed: All right, lets roll!
Werth: Hey, we gotta pit stop. [Zwed turns around and looks at Werth]
Werth: Three quarters of a tank... I don't like to take chances.
Lucas: GPS tracking puts them in Front Royal in a few hours.
Szwed: Let's make it quick.
Ziva: Umm, what language was that?
Werth: He says she's fast, but not to push her, even when we're drivin' empty. And to uh, watch out for cops.
Ziva: So the truck is a she?
Werth: Let's go rob someone.

Tara: Teek? Is that you?
Vance: You have a decision to make Tara. Do we walk out of here, or do I carry you?

Tara: Thank you, Anthony, you're very sweet- my patron saint.
Tony: Actually, Saint Nicholas is the patron saint of hook... [stops himself from saying hookers] Saint Anthony is who you turn to when you've lost something.
Tara: So, who does Anthony turn to when he's lost something?
Tony: How do you know I've lost something?
Tara: [laughing] I may not know my saints, but I definitely know my sinners.

Tariq: You're a Jew.
Ziva: Yes.
Tariq: Israeli? Mossad, then.
Ziva: I'm working with NCIS.
Tariq: So, yes. So now I'm as suspicious of you as you are of me. Is it always going to be this way?
Ziva: At least in our lifetime.
[Deputy Tyler Barrett walks in.]
Tyler: Oh, cozy.
Ziva: Can I help you?
Tyler: [to Tariq] You know, couple of more inches to your right and our "martyr" here could've been living it up with all those vestal virgins. (chuckles) You know, it truly is a screwed-up religion where you got to blow yourself up just to get lucky.
[Ziva twists his arm behind his back, hard.]
Tyler: OW!
Ziva: When you insult his religion, you insult mine and your own. Tell him you're sorry.
Tyler: (quietly) Sorry. (she twists harder) AH!
Ziva: I don't think he heard you.
Tyler: I'm sorry!
Tariq: Apology accepted.
Gibbs: (walking in) There a problem?
Ziva: I was telling the deputy here where the bathroom was.

Timothy McGee: I've heard stories about Special Agent Gibbs.
Tony: Only half of them are true...the trick is figuring out which half.

Tony: 40-mile zone ended 2 miles back, Boss. Limit's 65... I only mention it because you usually drive slightly faster than Dale Earnhardt, Jr.

Tony: Nesiah tova. [Hebrew, "have a safe trip"]
Ziva: See you next week.

Tony: [about to send drug kingpins to Gitmo as suspected terrorists] You do not have the right to remain silent. You do not have the right to an attorney. If you want an attorney, you won't get an appointment to see one. Do you understand these rights you don't have?